Life is full of unexpectants.

CNY is coming...

2011-01-22T23:44:00.002+08:00

CNY wasnt one of my favorite season or public holiday. maybe to me now, CNY means work more than meaning of family gathering together sitting at the table for a good meal and bonding or just purely joy of eating the CNY tibits and food. only the collecting of hong bao is fun. the rest of the whole visitation was bored. watch tv, eat, watch tv. it really depends on which house you went to visit.

from the year my family becomes incomplete, i felt CNY have lost its meaning. till a point that i think reunion dinner wasnt necessary anymore. i miss him, so near yet so far.

so many pple in this world focus on what is immediate and what happens now. many of our footsteps dont just stop there bcos is a new yr season. what's more this yr CNY is not going to be the same with exam coming 3 weeks after CNY. what a tough poly life. though that not the toughest thing in life,

I love Christmas more. feels that there is more meaning to Christmas than to CNY.

pure random.....

Your Love never fails

2011-01-19T21:31:00.005+08:00

I kind of fell in love with this song again...
Reminds me of how much God actually Love me....
How many times i had fail God.. how many times i tried to hide away from God... how many times that i cant explain why certain things happen in my life... how many times that i felt im all alone to handle this world that i need to bear...

I know Your Love never fails....

Oh God.....!!!

new year 2011

2011-01-14T00:50:00.005+08:00

start of new year and new term.
although sch have just started for 2 weeks, but in 6 weeks time will be exam. kind of crazy. still prefer last semester that we have 3 weeks of break to study. thanks to YOG. if only YOG can happen every year in Singapore.

I'm getting older!!!
of course felt more responsible, accounting for my own action.
not only that, i felt i need more privacy. i need a bigger house, a room to myself, my own wardrobe, my own bathroom, my own little space and little world. who don't love to live in their own world with the freedom of doing anything you want to without being watched. that require a lot of self discipline too, if i have my own room.

i used to always crave to have a new phone, but in the end i didn't buy myself one, cos i know is a want, not a need. i think i seriously need a room to myself. is not a want, is a NEED! and of course, i cant trust anyone with this task other than myself. i really dislike pple keep touching my things and keep asking me what i am doing. which i may get affected easily. I know you care for me, but please give me some space....

But coming back to what i really need in life, wasn't really just a room. does that mean that i become distracted. as my ambitious and burdens gets heavier, who to blame? the yolk that God give me was light. i will never get to where i want to be if i hold on to so much things.

though I'm getting older, but it doesn't stop me. i still cry when i need to. laugh as loud if is very funny. get angry and impatience with certain things. Will still push myself forward. and that just me....
and definitely will still seek God and need Him more than usual...

2010-09-25T01:47:00.001+08:00

"… In this world, you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."

— Jesus (John 16:33)

im a happy gal :)

2010-09-25T01:05:00.004+08:00

just got my result!
im so happy that i passed that 2 modules that i struggle to be above the water. which i have hardly make it above the water for the past semester.
i really thought im gonna fail that 2 modules. cos one of them, even the MCQs im stuck. there other, the whole section B was gone too. i even break down crying cos i know clearly where i will stand.

God was good! He is really good to me. i was really gonna prepare for the worst, prepare for the supp paper. but He lifted it away.
i really had been too stress in sch, cos all along i noe im not doing well in it. even though my GPA wasnt that gd, but im really grateful! at least no supp paper. and that's enough for me. i wont blame myself further :D

brought my mum for her usual appointment @SGH. the doctor that we have been seeing for about 3 yrs is gonna leave SGH. yup, that means the next follow up appointment will be taken care of by another doctor. im kinda sad. cos that doctor that helped my mum so much through these years is really a nice and caring doctor. he did 2 surgery for my mum. and he really have a very kind & caring look. seeing him is like seeing Santa clause. i should really have ask him where he will be heading to. so that i can hold on to the hope that i will see him again :D too bad i didnt ask.

even though exams are over, i still feel like picking up my notes to study for that 2 modules that i struggle. ya, im crazy.

crazy korean gals singing karaoke

2010-09-20T22:22:00.002+08:00

find it funny?
everybody is laughing over this video. but not me. im seriously too serious. wahaha.

deadddd...

2010-09-16T21:22:00.002+08:00

my dead blog, u r so dead... i hardly even hav time to blog. wahaha.

exam are over for the 1st sem. i tried my best. is not dat i didnt even tried. i did all i can. pls dont ask me about my exam. i really dont wanna recall what happened. (is it really dat bad?) yes. i dont wanna think about anything of the exam now. pls dont even mention dat word in front of me. i'll switch off. it is the very last thing in my mind.

so stubborn ya? i will still hav to face it though. is not something dat someone else will help me face. is me, myself and i.

on top of that, i still hav alot more to worry and stress about. life jus gets tougher when u grow older. the reality of this world gets super super real. yea yea. crap crap crap.

Me and my complaints...

我不是好人

2010-04-28T23:38:00.000+08:00

我不是好人，也不是个很坚强的人。我很想说.........　我是个没用的人！

TP biotech 真的属于我的吗？我好像就快要死掉了！working and studying is jus killing me....
如果我能专心读书就好。　但是我真的很累。好想放弃。我真的不是读书的料，也没时间去好好的努力读。超失败。几时才能结束啊？　三年啊？！

我真的不是好人。我不会因为我需要做的东西而觉得自己是很好的一个人。反而显现我的弱点。我所不能做的东西。
很失望，超失望的。真的只希望我家人他们可以多一点鼓励我，而不是我每次一回到家就让我XXX...

感谢大姐的夸奖，让我知道我有多么差劲。从此以后，你的事情我不想管了。反正你不喜欢我。也不喜欢我管。你要怎样就怎样吧。
no matter how much i care and concern about this house, in your eyes, im jus being busy body. 只是一个爱管闲事的人。在你眼里的管家婆。不管我说什么，不管我再为这家一把眼泪，一把鼻涕都不会改变多少的。

晚点回家，少点伤痛。反正我回不回家，你会管吗？

a right resopnse to hurt

2010-03-27T16:56:00.013+08:00

Dr Albert Ellis said this:
"no one can ever hurt you by their criticism of you. no matter how vicious or vituperative their criticism, the words they use do not have the power to produce within you the teeniest bit of discomfort. if you are hurt, the problem arises because of the value and meaning you give to the words the person uses. only one person has the power to put you down - you yourself. cruel or unjust criticism hurts because it triggers off in your head idea that are in harmony with the way you see yourself. if you didnt see yourself this way, the criticism would wash over you and fail to affect you."

true? very true.

我觉得人活在这世界最害怕就是怕别人讲，怕别人批评，怕别人是用怎样的眼光看自己。其实，就算别人怎么说，怎么看，只要你自己知道你是怎样的人，坚定你自己的立场，就不会被影响。cos the focus should not be how to be accepted by everyone or how to please everyone. it should not be, cos it's temporal, and even if you win the whole world, you loose yourself, what's the point? criticism will always present. and if we do not know how to handle it, we will found ourselves loosing the real purpose of living.

你就是你，我就是我。love yourself for who you are.

好幸福

2010-03-25T00:43:00.002+08:00

i am super blessed! and i am really very thankful!

thankful that God have always blessed me with so many good friends around me. friends that always wanna bless me, buy me a meal, encourage me, find ways to solve my problems, listen to me and always putting my needs as one of their interest. im just so touch, when someone can even come to me and ask me if they could help me to pay my poly sch fees in this way.

and all that is within me just wanna cry out that God, you are so good!!! so good so good!!!

i have stopped looking for a new job. im not sure is it me that im refusing to change again or i just wonder will i ever find such a gd job that is so flexible in timing, near my hse and high pay? hehex. so, i gonna work 6-5 days per week starting from this week. hopefully, i wont get too bored and sick of work.

Thank God that mummy is feeling better after her first physiotherapy session. im gotta be more discipline to even assist her with her daily shoulder and neck exercises and also bringing her to the fitness corner. 现在就轮到老爸了。i have decided recently that i need to bring him to see his eyes. and i really hope he is willing to go with me. i shld care for him more as he is alr 62 this year. my daddy is so old alr! 我应该更努力一点！and praying hard that i can afford for my dad's medical fees too.

对吗？就是这样！recently something happened, and showed me how real is the fact that life is short and fragile. 人生是如此短暂和虚弱的。我应该好好的利用每一秒钟。yup. one life and it soon be gone, Only what done for Christ will last.

im kinda not looking forward to start of school... 怎么办呢？

who are we that You are mindful of us?
what do you think?
we are .....

updates

2010-03-17T23:46:00.004+08:00

went to a food hygiene course on monday. was quite boring and the theory test at the end of the course was so easy!!! multiple choice and the answers are so obvious. but i do hope i can pass practical test. Thank God there is 2 of my colleagues that was there to entertain me. hehex.

was at ECP on tue to cycle with friends. second attempt of the 2 pple bike. which is much more tiring. but i think much more fun. next time i wanna sit behind. hehex.

brought my mum to hospi for her regular appointment. was suppose to see Dr David de, and as usual, he is so busy. he is really a very nice doctor, got a very familiar face that i tot i know him before. i was listening to a old sermon that i have put in my MP4 for the third time. is on provision of God. and trusting God on provision. and when i was walking to the hospi with my mum, i saw this verse!!! yes!! is on a van again!!!
Isaiah 26:12 "Lord, you establish peace for us; all that we have accomplished you have done for us."
i was super shock when i saw the van with that verse. is not that i will happen to see a van with a verse everyday of my life cos the number of van with verse is very less.

anyway i hope i can find a new job soon that can pay me higher pay and im hoping to stay at this job till poly life is over. so it better be a good 1. im really dont wanna stay at kfc anymore. though they plan to promote me. but that will only be a 15cents more to my current pay per hour. is it worth it? what do you think? zzzzz....

alright, will update more soon....

yozzzz!

2010-03-16T22:07:00.003+08:00

IM BACK!!!

Exams are finally over! and that marks the end of ITE life. The final exams was tough. Hopefully my GPA will not be affected too much. though i really expect that is not gonna be easy. BUT, i still not prepare for it. too bad then.
During the period before exam, really got lots of mixed feeling within me! 烦死了！Almost when crazy. i believe those friends studying with me will know how crazy i am. hehex.

oh man, 2 years had passed. So fast! 2 years ago, i was still in secondary school, worrying about going to ITE. now, is over! im definitely gonna miss school, the pple, all my classmates, friends and teachers.

in this 2 years, i have really learnt and grown alot. lots of up and down, lots of happiness and unhappiness too. life indeed gets tougher and tougher with the increase amount of responsibilities. through ups and downs, we learn how to press on, we learn how to be strong, we learn how to even smile and face reality.

entering into adulthood, is also very 矛盾的事。有时候想要永远不长大。有时候又想要能够做很理性的决定和解决一些很困难的事情。hehex, just wanna escape from reality again. 活在这世界就是需要坚强的面对和接受现实。example, exam result. of course is more than that. JYJY= JINYU JIAYOU!　当我在为自己打气和加油时，我真的很希望我的朋友们也能坚强为自己打气！even if things didn't turn out the way we want. will we not give up and accept and climb back on our feet and look at the brighter side of life.

all i can do now, is to wait for the "day" which is 2 weeks later, that will determine my life for the next 3 years to come. when the "day" gets near, hope i will not get too stress about it. and there goes the crazy me. Wahahaha!!!

vicious cycle

2010-01-23T20:48:00.005+08:00

y am still i struggling with the same issue when i know exactly how to handle, what to do about it. i know clearly it will be a cycle, repeating. and i really want to break this cycle! but doubting whether i can break it with my own strength.

i cant break it just with my own strength. i definitely cant.

i believe all things that i have is given from God. be it things that pple give me, or i buy myself or even money that i have earn. i believe all things that i have comes from God.
when it is yours, it will definitely be yours. no matter how others try to steal and snatch from you, it will still be yours.
If it is not yours, no matter how hard you tried to keep it, have ownership over it, at the end of the day, you will still loose it.
So when God asked if i can give this thing to Him, shouldn't i give it freely to Him? Cos initially is from Him.
So when someone asked to give them, shouldn't i give freely too? Like how it was given to me, freely.

if it is mine, and i have less i will be given even more.
if is not mine, even if i have much, it will be taken away from me.

i have understood, and i have done what i need to do.

though im not worthy

2010-01-18T21:58:00.000+08:00

relax and trust GOD

2010-01-13T22:52:00.005+08:00

ytd when i was on my way to meet Elene, i saw this truck passing by. with this caption on it. " Jesus will take your load for you" .

i thank God that He is a God that express Himself in words. He tells us exactly how much He loves us not only by words, and also by His actions. He showed us His love by His death.
without such expressiveness, i may not fell in love with God. i may not know how much He love and accept me. i may not know that He is always around to hold me when i need it. God's love is extravagant!

i felt super terrible. too stress up by too many things. too much. and is only the second week of sch! part of me called myself to spend more time to study, another part of me call myself to find more time to work. and all the additional things!

somehow forgot that i need to relax. constantly being in a tense mode isn't very good. one of my friend asked me, why am i always very tense? why cant i relax and don't worry too much? i forgot, i didn't know. i just wanted to get things done cos i constantly think that i do not have enough time. everything need to be done quickly and fast. and that the pace. cant stop. so when 1 thing didn't goes smoothly, or extra things that need me to do that will slow down my speed, came in and corrupt my whole "system" i get very affected. how to handle. how to get it done. how to be back on track.

my focus, is always on my situation. i always asked myself, why cant i shift that focus on how God can help me out of the situation. i forgot? too overwhelm by the situation. forgot that God is there watching over me. forgot to depend on God. continuously using my own strength to do things and fix my situation.

i was at a session of poly PEG on Monday evening. the speaker talks about "a journey towards delightful satisfaction" he said that God sometime will bring us to a holy despair, a hopeless point so to fix our eyes on God. and also nothing in your life is ever wasted when you keep your eyes on God. he went on sharing that God will also bring us to a holy dissatisfaction, a holy desperation, a holy dependence, a holy desire, and a holy delight. just to narrow down our focus on God. just to narrow our focus to the only one thing that is require to be done.

thank God, for that session encouraged me. :D

psalm 46:10. be still and know that i am God.
actually also means to sink down and relax.
is time to relax and be still.

New Year 2010!

2010-01-06T22:55:00.003+08:00

6 days into the new year!
didn't manage to have enough rest before school reopen. the last 2 weeks was really super xiong. zzz.

i want to thank God for 2009. every year is a challenge to me. and i know greater challenge are ahead even as i grow older this year( turning 20 in 11 more months!) as maturity means accepting responsibilities which got nothing to do with age. and I'm trying my very best to slowly accepting the fact that i need to take care of my family for my entire life. providing for them and loving them. even if I'm gonna do this all by myself. even when my parents, my sister or brother grows super old, never will i forsake them. just wanted to be prepared. my dad is turning 62 this year. i want to be prepared to take care of him :D hehex.

i really super hope that this 3 months will pass super slow, cos is really not easy to go to a new environment to study. i don't like changes too. i love to be in my comfort zone, in the places that I'm familiar in. and i hate orientation. especially amazing race that will get you familiarize the places.

this Monday, school was really in chaos. Sigh, miss the quiet school with lots of empty seats at the cafe. and i just don't understand why must we do so many wasting time projects! these time can be spend more wisely in studying when exams are in 2 months time! especially pm, is really for the sake of doing. i found no objective, no reason to do that stupid bus stop model! cos i believe that our bus stop in Singapore are near to perfection. so improvement is not really necessary. when teacher will just ask a few questions, take a few photos and call us bring back the model. Hello! we spend the whole day doing that stupid model! all this precious time can be used more wisely! GRR driving me crazy!

poly open house start tml. and i totally got no idea what course to choose. got no passion to study science actually.
anyway, i will lay down all my plans at God's feet and trusting His abundant plans. for He knows my tml.

distress

2009-12-31T15:48:00.008+08:00

1 reason why i love to eat is becos is a form of distressing. weird rite? hehex.
eating is filling yourself with food. And I'm just always excited to eat. sometime it help me to forget some setbacks at home.
another distress method is to work. temporal filling your mind with busyness.
recently, i found a new distress method that helps me to forget all the setback. is to be crazy and laughing at your own craziness.

what are your ways of distressing???

one of my biggest fear for the new year is in term of financial.
in 3 more months i will be moving on to poly.
expenses for next year will really be HUGE!
Have to support myself, needs of my mother, father, sister and brother.
I must have enough to provide for them.
sch fees, transport, basic needs at home and even some unexpected things. i need to be prepared for all this. which I'm not very sure how to hang in there, how things will go about.

encouragement is to stand along side someone.
I'm really thankful :D no matter how many setback i may have, no matter how challenging life can be. is a process of moulding of character. and I'm very thankful for the unmovable hope that i held tightly to as it keeps me going.

I don't know about tomorrow,
I just live from day to day.
I don't borrow from it's sunshine,
For it's skies may turn to gray.
I don't worry over the future,
For I know what Jesus said,
And today I'll walk beside Him,
For He knows what is ahead.

Many things about tomorrow,
I don't seem to understand;
But I know Who holds tomorrow,
And I know Who holds my hand.

JYJY

Merry CHRISTmas!!!

2009-12-21T20:30:00.005+08:00

Merry Christmas to everyone out there! hope you will know the true meaning of Christmas in this festive season :D Have a blessed day :D

finally updating!

2009-12-18T20:55:00.002+08:00

yes! finally updating my sleeping blog! im just too busy. 24 hrs per day is really too short for me. hehex. or the problem lies in my poor time management.

a quick update,
Having holiday now.
After a crazy marathon of tests in sch, it is really super great to go to Malacca for 4D3N. im so blessed!
birthday have passed.
attended a 2days of a camp of syfc before tests was over.
have 3 projects to do.
1 christmas party coming soon.
Christmas n 2010 is coming soon.
sch is starting soon.
application for poly admission is coming soon.

i was reflecting on my goals for this year. and i know very clearly that i have not accomplish most of it. How do one actually determine how fruitful a year can be? maybe it is determine by the closeness of my relationship with God.
i really dislike coming to the end of a year. hehex. although a new year signify a new start. but it also signify new responsibility and commitment.
Yes! im gonna take up more commitment and responsibility for the new year to come. NOT ONLY THAT! IM GONNA TRUST GOD FOR STRENGTH!
yes, i fear of the new year to come, but HS tells me that i should fear God more than fear the enemies.

im trying very hard to focus. focus on study, on church ministry, on work, on syfc, on my relationship with God n etc n etc. too much too much....
BUT, im believing for changes to come :D

Doggy's love

2009-11-21T01:29:00.004+08:00

1 good thing about having dog at home is when you reach home after a long day at school and at work, the very first "person" that greeted you when you stepped in to that dark & silence house is him :D waging his tail and sniffing and licking you... welcoming me back home. though everyone is asleep.

I love my doggy :D

2009-11-05T00:27:00.005+08:00

Little boy, 6 years old
A little too used to being alone
Another new mom and dad,another
school
Another house that will never be home
When people ask him how
he likes this place
He looks up and says
with a smile upon his face

This is my temporary home
Its not where I belong
Windows and rooms that
Im passing through
This is just a stop,
on the way to where Im going
Im not afraid because
I know this is my
Temporary Home.

Young mom on her own
She needs a little help
got nowhere to go
Shes looking for a job,
looking for a way out
Because a half-way house
will never be a home
At night she whispers
to her baby girl
Someday well find a place
here in this world

This is our temporary home
Its not where we belong
Windows and rooms that
were passing through
This is just a stop,
on the way to where were going
Im not afraid because
I know this is our
Temporary Home.

Old man, hospital bed
The room is filled with
people he loves
And he whispers dont cry for me
Ill see you all someday
He looks up and says
I can see Gods face

This is my temporary Home
Its not where I belong
Windows and rooms that
Im passing through
This was just a stop,on
the way To where Im going
Im not afraid because
I know this was
My temporary home.

This is our temporary home

Hope... ....
even if we are not at where we want to be right now...

life is.....

2009-11-01T01:02:00.003+08:00

How depress life can turn out to be....
... when life is all about meeting the world standards, meeting your own expectations & goals, meeting your parents' expectations, meeting your friends' expectations, meeting your boss's expectations, meeting your family members' expectations and so on...

is this what life is all about? meeting every single expectation?
i Thank God, for the very moment i realised the emptiness of life, i know there is ought to be a purpose of living. not just to waste resource of this earth, but for a specific reason, a specific place that only you can fill. which is only you can do it, nobody else. life is as good as useless when we don't fulfill that purpose. and that why, every single person is special and unique.

i always reflect on how tough my life is. Have to work and support myself and at the same time study. and sometime think about how tough my dad's life is that i hope i can just work more and support this house. how draining life can be in this world when you have to confront the pattern of this world and so on. but forgetting about the other part of the world where kids have no food to eat, no house to stay. people in other country facing near death experience everyday with bullets and bombs and nature disaster. i should be far more grateful with what i have and what i can do. sometime i tend to forget all this and my focus is on myself.

just like the whole world has owe me! sometime when life become more of "I", "I","I" (what "I" need, what "I" want, what "I" want it to be) and less of "YOU", "YOU", "YOU", less of God. less of what God want it to be, more of what "I " want it to be. more of "I" controlling how "I" want to live my life. Life becomes bitter it dont turn out to be what "I" expected it to be.

sometimes life get so busy, so so busy. busy doing what you want to do, studies, work, meeting pple's expectation, achieving your goal, seeking acceptance, finding assurance.building your career. there is alot of things one's life can do, but there is only one thing that one's life have to do. which is to fulfill your purpose. even if one have done alot, achieve alot, but never fulfill that single reason that you are put on earth for, everything, exactly EVERYTHING has gone to waste. life is still meaningless. still that empty.

some pple have their own value of life. they have their belief of how life should be. To some, a complete life means getting married n have children. or to earn alot of money, or have a exciting career. and to some is to achieve a qualification or to have someone to love you . or maybe as simple as live to eat.

so what is life all about??? everyone have their own definition. but i know and sure of 1 thing. life is never only about yourself. it involve others too. we have the freedom of choice to choose how we want to live our life.

so....

what is your definition of life?

i started a joke

2009-10-19T19:22:00.002+08:00

I started a joke, which started the whole world crying,
But I didn't see that the joke was on me, oh no.

I started to cry, which started the whole world laughing,
Oh, if Id only seen that the joke was on me.

I looked at the skies, running my hands over my eyes,
And I fell out of bed, hurting my head from things that Id said.

Till I finally died, which started the whole world living,
Oh, if Id only seen that the joke was on me.

I looked at the skies, running my hands over my eyes,
And I fell out of bed, hurting my head from things that Id said.

till I finally died, which started the whole world living,
Oh, if Id only seen that the joke was one me.

Am i trying to be a grasshopper again? or is for real?

Memories

2009-10-12T08:56:00.004+08:00

remember this place? this is my favorite place @ TP.

this triangle garden.

Km n i use to walk all the way to the Bedok reservoir during our break time which is just next to this garden. and somehow being in this garden makes me feel like we are filming some drama. cos it really too beautiful le. hehex. n so peaceful (during the holidays, hehex).

today was the first day of sch. it really didnt goes the way i expected it to be. a bit affected, a bit moody. why is this sem so tough leh? and i cant help but to think am i really gonna continue this course if i go poly. and am i so sure that i wan go poly?
maybe the end of this year i will get an answer.
i believe n trust God that He wont put us through situation that is beyond what we can handle. just like what His word had said. so i know, i can still handle sch, work, family, friends and church. Amen!

back from KUANTAN!

2009-10-08T22:10:00.008+08:00

i love this photo, cos it's background got mountain :D and it remind me of God n His word.
kwee mei was a great partner! always letting me to take alot of photos of her. hehex. now i got lots of her unglam photos! hehex! and kwee mei! you r really a very independent person. sometime i hope i can be like you :D not to depend on others too much.

at orang asli. 1 of their kampong hse.

at the beach.

the polytechnic students were really very friendly and gave us a very warm welcome. i tot I'm at home for a moment :D though i dont understand what they r saying most of the time till we meet the 2 Chinese gal :D

Kuantan trip was really a great trip and i enjoyed myself.
this trip was good, not onli that i learn alot about their culture and their country, it was a break for me too. a break from my super busy life. and i was super glad this trip existed. cos it helps me really to stop what im doing and "breath".
I thank God for His protection hands, keeping me safe. though i quite clumsy dat i always almost fall down. You know, im a clumsy person.
so i definitely looking forward to church camp this year end!
so it was a great trip! cos i finally enjoyed my holiday after so long!

can i have more holidays pls.. hehex...

HOLIDAYS!!!

2009-09-29T01:04:00.001+08:00

Finally, holiday is here!
this week is the second week of holiday le. still left wif 1 more week to sch reopen.

wassup with my busy holiday?
Helping out with "impact 4" a program for christian students in ITE. Having this program can just drain all my energy away le. 3 weeks, 3 sessions per week. Plus work, and more work. But i still Thank God, cos there is still a few days that i can enjoy my holiday! better than nothing. though i keep telling myself that this holiday i must make more time for myself, my family and for God. but it just dont seems to be happening the way i want it to. Sigh~

If holiday can just be longer a bit more that will be great! Hmmmm... cant imagine myself running to the bus stop every morning when sch start. you noe i always overslept! and i really run all the way through the shelter walk way across the road(always fear that i may get knock down by cars),the long pathway and up the overhead bridge. and i noe, so many pple is looking at me! i DONT have time to even feel PS! Zzzzz. i really hate it when my bus stop is so far away n the bus is always so pack n waiting time is always so long! 6 more months!

Guess what! Mr Goh is coming to the kuantan trip with us! *almost fainted~ n the 3days kuantan trip is fully pack! so pack that i dont think we will have a chance to even step in the mall! really hope that everything will goes well for this trip.

ok old photos.. taken on the last day @ TP.

Fruits of our labour! Mr cucumber! Hmmm... i never have chance to eat it, cos when Mr cucumber is cut open, is all watery inside! Too bad!

My favorite plant in the lab. Looks like that will be a total of 5 flowers coming from this small plant name "marigold".
i miss all the plants~

Fruits of the labour

2009-09-16T00:55:00.005+08:00

after putting in 101 hearts from germinating pumpkin seeds to the harvest, our hard work and all the sweat have paid off. Is a joy to see you growing bigger and bigger each day. These 2 pumpkin is KM n my first fruit. we really wanted it to grow even bigger. unfortunately, to prevent it from dropping to the ground n smash, it is taken down. each weight about 1kg plus. it really looks very nice from the top view. But from side view.......

it looks like there is a "monkey backside". and i finally know why it has grew till this out of shape. becos of gravity. We really have a good laugh at this "monkey backside". Now. waiting for Mr cucumber to be harvested.

i really love this flower! it is from the marigold plant. maybe is becos is my first time to grow a pot of plant and seeing it grew flower. I'm just so excited that i cant stop taking photos of this flower. Hehex, that's how noob i am. As days passes, this flower will fade away. But, at least i know this plant is happily growing.

Officially IA has comes to the end! Yes, officially. but will be going back to help out for 1 more week. which is this week. Maybe becos have been away from sch for 4months, i really feel that I'm not part of the sch anymore. and maybe i have adapted to TP's environment, so after holiday, i have to adapt back to sch's environment. and really hoping that the remaining 6 months in sch will pass in it's full speed.

真的很希望有一个学校假期我能好好的休息！超讨厌我的忙碌的生活！真羡慕那些能好好享受学校假期的同学！我好向往哦！能够享受学校假期不是我一个人能决定的。There is a lot, a lot of contributing factors and people to consider. 　真遗憾！

BACK

2009-09-13T15:11:00.000+08:00

sorry, have not been updating. and blogger got problem again. so even more not in the mood to update. wait for blogger to be ok bah.

hehex.

it is a long long journey.

2009-08-25T01:04:00.008+08:00

今天一大早，就觉得很broken。我真的很失望。我真的不知道我到底几时才会学会。我真的不够成熟。反省反省吧！

心裡的雨傾盆的下....

when my confident level is at ground zero. i feel that the whole world is looking down on me. 我会只想躲在一个没有人能看到我的地方。我会只想做一个隐形的人，没人看的到，悄悄的存在。

风筝

2009-08-01T09:30:00.004+08:00

我本来就属于祢。就只是断了风筝的线。祢也已经付出了昂贵的代价把我赎救了。终于能回到祢的身边，我属于祢。

老实说，我不想回去学校了。
大概是因为我现在在的地方能让我暂时逃离读书的压力，逃离这虚幻的世界。
just too comfortable that i do not want to get out of it.
changes is always happening.　逃不掉。也躲不了。

Excited!

2009-07-31T23:59:00.001+08:00

仙人掌开花了!　而且是紫色的仙人掌开出粉红色的花。虽然它只开了几天就谢了，但是真的很美。
上帝美妙的创造啊！

Finally blogger has no problem already.

indeed this week is a very exciting week!
the students are taking their practical test. km and i got a chance to actually grade the student. Honestly speaking, their practical test is SUPER easy! i cant believe it lo. Sigh, if our practical test is so easy that will be great. hehex. of course the reason that is so easy is their course main focus is not on practical but more on theory. indeed is tough! they got written practical test too. is really very nice of mr k to give me and km try it too. hehex.

some students will really nervous. and got some is really very funny. OMG! Mr k is really funny. i cant stop laughing when km started to laugh. Mr k is really just too nice!

there is this group of researcher from overseas that came to visit and look and the AS research centre. and i really donnoe there is actually a research centre for AS in TP. LOL. though we explode the sch for so many time but never know that centre exist.

is like Alice in the wonderland experience for both of us. wow! so many research lab! and i saw this lab that i hope i can be in. "traditional Chinese herbs research lab". maybe i can really consider working in tp next time.

km and i went to eat kfc for lunch and i met someone that i haven meet for more than a year! going kfc for lunch never cross my mind before. cos I'm sick of it. coincidentally, i met the manager that work in my store last time. we will very close when she is still around. though sometime is a bit stress to work under her, cos she really put in lots of effort and i do not want to disappoint her. we chatted for awhile, she keep brainwashing me calling to work there. LOL. maybe if next time if i study in tp i can consider transfer to her store lo.

i just found a pen pal. LOL. and this modern world still got pen pal. hehex. but is someone that i know. maybe is just much more easy for him to communicate thru letter as her mum is really very controlling and restricting alot.

fish4men outing is coming soon! Yippee! this time round Winnie is planning and I'm helping her. gonna do the props tml. hope that everything can be done as fast as possible. so i wont be late for FOP in the evening. so so excited!

update soon!

2009-07-25T22:10:00.000+08:00

what happened to blogger? i wanted to post pic, but look like i cant.

有时候你会不会觉得用自己的力量生存很辛苦吗？不能不依赖一个比你强的人物。
等ｂｌｏｇｇｅｒ好了再post lo...

Back to school

2009-07-13T01:25:00.003+08:00

went back to sch on Fri after nearly 2 months of attachment. now I'm so used to seeing the students in poly that i am abit not 习惯 seeing the students in ITE. the students in these 2 school is really very different. 感觉的出，很明显的不一样。and i am seriously cant stand how the poly are not so concern about the safety in the lab. anyway, it will just take 1 accident for them to realise how dangerous it is to wear slipper n play in the lab. is not up to me to change anything, i don't have the authority to do that.

there is so much to catch up wif my 2 cliques, but time is just so short. and i really miss seeing the fishes in aqua lab. i wonder how are the 6 princesses.

that all peeps. shall update more soon....

新成员

2009-06-18T23:26:00.002+08:00

the new member in my house. just brought it home from TP lab. they got extra so can bring back home. :D Fittonia is the name :D it's leafs feels like plastic, i still joke that this is actually a fake plant .

要快点长大哦！！！

开花了

2009-06-18T23:09:00.003+08:00

Recently, just realise that the flower in this plant had bloomed.

So excited! So excited to see all the plants in the lab to bloom. we are the one that water them. 4 weeks already. 多多少少有点感情了。hahax.

JY&KM: 开花了！
P: 几时开的？
JY: 今天刚刚开的。
P: 过几天我们就可以拿来吃了！
JY: 我吃过。(that wasn't a good experience. cos i ate it from a plant on the streets when i was in pri school. Doesn't taste so good.)
P: 哎呀！我记得那时候开过，蚂蚁逼我早吃！
JY: 那怎么办？
KM: 现在吃？
Laugh~

we surrounded the pot of the plant with water to prevent ants.....

oranges

2009-06-15T23:08:00.002+08:00

sliced oranges rolling down the hill of a road....

how is this done? I'm not sure.

Hurts

2009-06-14T13:48:00.002+08:00

Do you agree with me that the most painful hurts you can get from people is none other than getting it from your closest friends, your family and someone that you trusted alot?

most of the time these group of people are the one that created the most hurts in me. these hurts are far more painful then any friends that rejected me to come for events, more painful then the teachers that disapprove me. more painful then scoring below my expectation for test and exam, more painful then being rejected when sharing the gospel.

Jesus faced the same rejection and hurts from all the people that is His own. He came into this world that was His own, but it did not recognise Him. He was rejected, tortured, hurt and was even put to Death by His people that was His own. the PAIN and SUFFERING that He had endured. All this that He did and went through, just to show and tell us how much HE LOVES US. how much have we break Jesus's heart when we turn away from Him and reject Him after He have did so much for us?

maybe they do not know and realise that how much they have break my heart.
BUT.....

I Love them......

And that why it hurt so much........

I'm sorry. If my words and actions hurts you......

Because You first LOVE me. Jesus You will always be... You will always be my first LOVE....

YES!

2009-06-11T22:30:00.003+08:00

last sunday sermon is on trusting God our father.
that we CAN trust God, we SHOULD trust God and we MUST trust God.
when i just decided to trust God for my IA that something meaningful and purposeful will happen, the next day, it came!
God is good all the time! not 1 but 2 projects! i was feeling super guilty on Mon cos i forgot to bring my lab coat. but i was at cloud 9 when i hear abdt the project. i tot he just say to make me happy. the next day he brought the plants and new seeds in! i was amazed by his productivity. hehex. now work is super busy, that's what i like, the KFC spirit. LOL.

Stretch is finally coming to the end. seriously 4 lessons is really super short. if i have take guitar, i doubt i can play for combine band.
SIGH... i really got stage fright. what happened at ISS is already the prove le. haven even go on stage i can feel the tightness le! OMG! Combine band is on this coming sat! faint~

JIa you lo.....

公平

2009-06-08T00:35:00.005+08:00

那位经理说：“别人做KFC可以凌晨一点就可以回家了。我做KFC三四点才可以回家。一回到家就要准备去做早班。”

我很想对他说：“别人做KFC可以站在那不做工。我做KFC需要像头牛，做到快疯掉。”

一句话：　
这世界从来没有公平过。

最公平的就只有主耶稣的爱
He is the same, yesterday, today and forever.
他的爱永不改变。对谁都一样。
唯一最公平，最伟大的爱。

想通了
i believe that God put me there for a reason, just like life exist for a reason. you don't have duplicate person that is same as you. you exist for a reason, maybe to fill some needs.

that the hope and reason I'm holding on to....
4months will pass very soon, very very soon....

是个骗局

2009-06-07T00:55:00.005+08:00

我觉得我好像真的被骗了。被骗了。后悔？真的觉得有一点点。

even the Lab tech says that it just sound so nice. but the actual fact is not as i expected.
YES! I'm disappointed! If you know me well, you know sometimes I'm really very purpose driven. no reason for doing it and you want me to do, is really upsetting me. and he can actually tells me so clearly that what all this is for show! and i asked him to confirm what he had just said so many times. is really for show. you mean is for fun? i was expecting something more than that.
really something more than that.

and they really never tell me what i was there for, never tell me exactly what they are doing, what the main thing they want me to do and the reason behind it. till recently i found out thru the website of this place then i finally realise. so is really mainly for commercial.

i am really wrong. tot that the real reason I'm there is to help them with the research. i have just think too highly of myself. what am i to go there to help with the research? i am just an ITE student. with the knowledge i have cant do much. but i really tot that was the reason, that why i accepted your suggestion of going there. and i asked you so many times to confirm what i will be going there for. of course is not anyone fault at all. if i have know the truth, i might not say yes at the first place, if i have the freedom of choice.
will she thinks that is "serve me right" if she found out? she will surely thinks that. why i didn't heed her advice in the first place. after that she will go around and tell everyone how foolish i am or something along that line.

contentment.
the only feeling that i need to feel right now.

i really miss studying..... though it have just been 2 weeks only...

结束了

2009-05-24T01:40:00.008+08:00

an update! finally !

6 weeks of clash modules is finally over! cant believe dat it flies so fast.
but I'm glad that it's over.

for the past 2-3 weeks, haven been really sleeping well.

finally can throw all my worries behind and take a good nitex sleep!

being away from school for the next 4 months sounds Cool.
will be spending my next 4 months in TP. im really counted as blessed to be able to go TP. At least the things that i learnt can be applied. but TP don gives allowance. that means is a must for me to work on weekends. hehex. still so busy. work in TP is from 830am to 6pm for Mon- Thurs and 830am to 530pm for Fri. teacher says the timing is very flexible. hopefully, i hoping that the hours will not be so long that i can work on weekdays too. or not I'm really going to eat sand for the next 4 months. hehex. and, i am really blessed to have very good and understanding teachers in ITE! Thank God!

this 6 weeks is really not easy to pass. there is so many so many things dat have happened. good and bad. and alot of things that makes me very emo. but no use being emo, i keep asking God to lift my spirit up.

ytd, after hearing what have happened to K. my heart really sinks. felt so painful for her. so painful that i cant help crying. she sounds so alright in the phone and even call me not to miss her. but i know, she is not ok at all. i miss her laughter and that smile.... what i can only do now is to trust in the Lord and pray for her. i really miss her...

cell will be moving up to the adult on the first week of June. spilt or remain still not decided yet. and no matter which way it is, it will still be the best way as God as have placed us there.

the coming 6 months of the remaining years is not going to be the same! crossing over! i had set some goals to achieve for the coming 6 months. hope that i can persist on to achieving it ! no more playing around, but focus and serious matters. in 5 months time i will be turn 19 le! and that counted as an young adult! is never going to be the same!

i caught a cold, has slight fever today, but I'm still the usual me, just a bit tired. still manage to go church in the morning, travel to hospital and spend the rest of the afternoon shopping! even though i can feel the heat in me. hehex.

JIA YOU everyone for IA!!!!! let us press on!

so cute!

2009-05-24T01:30:00.000+08:00

the pig in this video is really very cute! hehex!

Psalm 119:91-93

2009-05-17T09:22:00.003+08:00

"91 Your regulations remain true to this day, for everything serves Your plans. 92 If Your instructions hadn't sustained me with joy, i would have died in my misery. 93 i will never forget Your commandments, for by them You give me life."

psalm 119:91-93

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

not sure what version this verse is from.

when i saw this verse, it just speaks to me.

2009-04-26T18:06:00.002+08:00

忙。

stain

2009-04-19T02:41:00.006+08:00

forgive us of our sin Lord.
forgive us for being foolish.
forgive us for being stubborn.
forgive us for being disobedience.
forgive us for not loving You enough.
forgive us for knowing so little of You and not desiring to know You even more.
forgive us for we did not know we sin against You.

i know I'm not worthy to even receive all the forgiveness. but who is worthy? that why we need You even more cos we are not worthy.

how foolish i am? how foolish that i think i can do alot of things for God? If it is not for You, not for the relationship with You, not for the Holy spirit that work through me to do all things for You, then whatever things that i do comes to nothing.

"The God who made the world and everything in it is the Lord of heaven and earth and does not live in temples built by hands. And he is not served by human hands. as if he needed anything, because he himself gives all men life and breath and everything else. From one man he made every nation of men, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should lives. God did this so that men would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from each one of us." Acts 17: 24-27

help us to Love You more each day.
help us to desire more of You.
help us to even see You working in the smallest things of our life.
help us to be so disgusted by our own sin.
help us to have Your heart beat..
help us to step out of comfort zone.
help us to fear You.
help us to Love others like how You Loves us.
help us to be so on fire for You.
help us to see what we cant see.
help us to understand what we cant understand.
help us to see how limited time we have.
help us to break down Strong holds.
help us by overcoming our fear.
help us by setting us FREE.
help us by bringing us into the holy of hollies.
help us by letting us to encounter You.

help us Lord....

This is my cry... my one desire... is to be where You are Lord... now and forever...

cant stop

2009-04-19T01:09:00.001+08:00

busy week.
school started but still in holiday mood.
6 weeks 2 clash modules, really tough.
mole bio lect really dry, my brain cant seems to be absorbing anything! oh no!
i miss my holidays!!!

thank God thank God thank God! thank God for good friends. friends that can really have a heart to heart talk. friends that really concern how i feel. friends that is patience to me. friends that encourage me. thank God.

some time i may not understand why people react or do things this way, but i know what ever reason that i came up myself to let me understand the reason behind it is not 100% true. i may not understand using my own understanding, unless i asked. and i think when i asked, i will then realise how much misunderstanding i have upon that person. " Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened." Matthew 7:7-8

in this period of my life, i need assurance whether to continue to serve God in this channel cos is pulling me down, just abit. but i know, He is moulding me. keep me in prayer :D

new intakes for cca came in on Fri. 11 of them if I'm not wrong. that alot. praise God. even if the things that we have to do in cca is not fun, tiring, boring, disgusting. we shouldn't be complaining. instead all the more we should give God praise and be thankful.

aiya.... my stm is getting worst and worst. thoughts for the things i want to do or say came in my mind in 1 second, and gone another second. zzzzzzz.

last day of holiday

2009-04-13T00:24:00.004+08:00

要开学了。。。
明天开学。。。
超不期待。。。

don wish to have test and assignment every week. don wish to be super busy again.
这个holiday又过的很充实。

guitar class in music school left with 3 more lessons le. Due to IA have to stop. sigh~ i haven achieved how to play even 1 worship song! if i will be going for basic guitar class for stretch, will be good. hehx...

再见了holiday...

The Light

2009-04-12T23:47:00.004+08:00

John 1: 1-13

1 In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. 2 He was with God in the beginning. 3 Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made. 4 In him was life, and that life was the light of men. 5 The light shines in the darkness, but the darkness has not understood it. 6 There came a man who was sent from God; his name was John. 7 He came as a witness to testify concerning that light, so that through him all men might believe. 8 He himself was not the light; he came only as a witness to the light. 9 The true light that gives light to every man was coming into the world. 10 He was in the world, and though the world was made through him, the world did not recognize him. he came to that which was his own, but his own did not receive him. 12 Yet to all who received him, to those who believe in his name, he gave the right to become children of God - 13 children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband's will, but born of God.

i remember when i read this passage for the very first time when i accepted God, i was a bit upset. upset in how my eyes was blinded by darkness. upset in how the light was actually shinning through the darkness i am in, but i cant see. i thank God for opening my eyes to see the Light. which now i can look back in my life how this Light have been shinning from the very beginning of my life in this world.

who's that Light that the passage refer to?
the Word that the passage refers to has became flesh. the Word was with God, and the Word was God. In him was life, and this life was the light of men.

so you would come

2009-04-11T00:40:00.001+08:00

Before the world began
You were on His mind
And every tear you cry
Is precious in His eyes
Because of His great love
He gave His only Son
Everything was done
So you would come

Nothing you can do
Could make Him love you more
And nothing that you've done
Could make Him close the door
Because of His great love
He gave His only Son
Everything was done
So you would come

Come to the Father
Though your gift is small
Broken hearts, broken lives
He will take them all
The power of the Word
The power of His blood
Everything was done
So you would come

宝贵十架

2009-03-20T02:34:00.000+08:00

我真的好喜欢这首诗歌啊！！！

i will be sharing word in CG tml! super scare. that my very first time. nervous and excited. hope that all will be blessed by what I'm gonna share. although i really not sure how i am going to go about doing it. i hope i can control my laughter. hahax. 加油咯！

too difficult?

2009-03-20T00:18:00.000+08:00

is there anything that is too difficult for God?
is there any problems that God cannot solve?
He is the creator of this whole universe!!!
what is too difficult for God?

我只想要一颗新的心。

Psalm13
1 How long, O Lord? Will you forget me? How long will you hide your face from me? 2 How long must i wrestle with my thoughts and every day have sorrow in my heart? How long will my enemy triumph over me? 3 Look on me and answer, O Lord my God. Give light to my eyes, or i will sleep in death; 4 my enemy will say, "I have overcome him," and my foes will rejoice when i fall. 5 But i trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation. 6 I will sing to the Lord for he has been good to me.

one life, one love

2009-03-19T01:21:00.000+08:00

who am i
that You would know me from the start
set me apart
who am i
that You would place eternity
into my heart

You have given to me
more than this world could give
my purpose is found in You

one life, i lay at Your altar
one love, i have with You
touch me again
fill me as You hold
my outstretched hands

one word, You know i will follow
one heart, broken to You
use me again
Your mercies follow me
for all my days

in Your presence
in Your power
Holy Spirit, i surrender

要做还是不做

2009-03-19T00:57:00.007+08:00

due to recession, business at KFC was like ..... .....
昨天打战，今天打苍蝇。
ytd got super Tuesday for delivery so was more busy. but strangely, dinning was busy too. and today was empty.
ytd can sell 15 shrooms burgers in 30mins during peak. today. pls! where is the peak? no business shld be good news for me. LOL. can slack. hahax.

I'm still considering to do nyaa mah? i really don feel like doing. hehex. cos it really require alot of discipline which i think i really lacking of. plus, i do not know how to manage my time well. very soon first week of holidays will be gone. next week have seminar stuff that take up 2 days. gonna go out with some secondary sch friends, there goes 1 more day. and guitar class and church and there goes another week!!! and the remaining 2 weeks i gonna work like crazy. tsk, wher got time for nyaa! 真的是闷的！

now i really have to go back to the root, the purpose of doing nyaa. if LKY award was the purpose, but LKY award is that really easy to get? if nyaa can get me that award, that means my poly fees i will not have to worry at all le! yippee!!! BUT, 有这么容易就好。

超怀念中一，中二的时光。。。

主是我力量。。。

strategies in tough times

2009-03-16T01:32:00.003+08:00

this week sermon: strategies in tough times

4 facts about tough times
1st, it is tough, not easy to go through.
2ND, it will come on everyone of us.
3rd, it is temporal.
4Th, it will affect you, your soul, your body, your mind, your heart.

so how do we stay above our tough times?

strategy No.1
it is about who you know.
-a good friend
-God
it is very important in who we know as it will offers us a solution out of the tough times.

strategy No.2
it is about how you give.
3 ways people will give in tough times
1. some give up
2. some give in
3. some give onto God
will we choose to continue to give onto God our time and offering during tough times? tough moments are moments that can strengthen you, not only physically but also in terms of faith.

strategy No.3
it is about what you do.
do we complaint and be very unhappy? or be upset, broken, torn and stuck in the situation forever? or should we continue to be faithful and trust in God to help us through. and not looking at our circumstances but fixes our eyes above, onto God? we are to continue to trust God even if we cant see God moving to change our situation. but knowing and trusting that something is changing.

show me your face

take me away with You

make my heart as pure as gold

make Your thoughts my thoughts

make Your ways my ways

主你是我力量

主你是避难所

holiday is here!

2009-03-15T23:59:00.002+08:00

我回来了。因为考试而消失了一阵子。终于考完了！！！是开心的！

以我零时报佛脚的个性，当然这次也不例外。哈哈！
只希望能够保持以前那个ＧＰＡ．

但是ＧＭ真的不容易！为了读ＧＭ，我可是自我催眠的告诉自己我很喜欢，很爱ＧＭ咯！一想要放弃或没心情读下去时，就会拼命喊口号“我爱ＧＭ！ＧＭ爱我！”　对，我是读到有点疯。连五月她也说我疯了。我还叫她和我一起喊口号但她不愿意和我一起疯。哈哈！到底这方法有多有效呢？等成绩出来就知道了。

自己读了ＧＭ，才发现其实没有我想象中的难。但考卷出的问题真的是出乎意料的。前三年没出的问题都出了。是超郁闷的！算了，都过了。

一个月的假期！
我有好多事情想要去做，
你想好假期要做什么了吗？
我应该已经有打算了。

我想要.....

... ... cultivate good reading habits. i aimed to finish reading prayer by Philip Yancey and purpose driven life in this holidays. reading is really very important as it helps us to gain knowledge and equip our mind.

have to exercise, go swimming, anyone wants to join me?

most probably start doing nyya in the library. hopefully*

and work and work and more work... have to save up for fees.

hahx. anyone wants to go out please inform me at least 1and the half week in advance. LOL.

after holidays, here comes 6weeks of clash modules of quality control and molecular bio and maybe even more. then will be IA. i think 100%confirm i will be going to a fish farm for 4months. heh.. can play with dogs... no matter where i will be attached to, not in school can le. at least there is still placement in the midst of recession. must be thankful. wonder how is working in a fish farm like. gonna be able to see a lot of fish and new exposure to the things that i never do before. but i got feeling that is gonna be not so much link in what i had studied. LOL. maybe i can see fish swims the whole day? hahx.

abit worried if I'm going for diving. cos i do not have perfect eyesight. n that means i have to wear contact in the seas. unless that is really diving goggles that have degree. and is that possible? must custom make. LOL. if i cant see clearly in the marine life of the underwater world, what is the fun of going diving? if I'm really gonna get contact, its gonna be super ex. how i hope i have perfect eyesight.

playmax is coming!!! any volunteer wants to help out? i will be helping out.

prime time with God

2009-03-01T02:10:00.001+08:00

taken from prime time with God

Today's Prayer
Dear God, Your Word me to cast my cares upon you. Oh how I want to do that, to bring all my cares to you and leave them at your feet. I do not want to be a worrier, but one whose faith is strong to trust you. I want to bring those burdens and concerns to you, and not keep picking them up and worrying about them. May this year be one of spiritual breakthrough in my life and in the lives of those I love. May our lives be filled with joy and peace through your Spirit. May you be the center and the heart of our homes. May we be more Christlike and less like the world in our everyday lives. Help us and have mercy upon us, dear God. Please forgive us of our sins and guide our steps. In Jesus' name, amen.

The Judas Test
TGIF Today God Is First Volume 2, by Os Hillman02-28-2009

"If an enemy were insulting me, I could endure it; if a foe were raising himself against me, I could hide from him. But it is you, a man like myself, my companion, my close friend, with whom I once enjoyed sweet fellowship as we walked with the throng at the house of God" (Ps. 55:12-14).

Betrayal is one of the most difficult tests that we will ever face because it involves being wounded by someone we trust. It's hard not to become bitter when a friend or family member wounds us. It takes a lot of Christ-like grace to forgive a traitor.

You have probably faced the Judas Test yourself. Everyday you and I work in a marketplace that is rife with betrayal, deception, duplicity, and treachery. Perhaps you have been betrayed by your boss or a coworker. Or perhaps somebody betrayed a confidence or stabbed you in the back. It may have even been someone you've gone to church with or prayed with - someone you trusted as a brother in Christ.

The Judas kiss stings worse than a slap across the face. Almost every leader I know has experienced that sting at one time or another. Yet God is watching to see how we respond to the Judas Test. If we pass the test, He can then take us to the next level, the next test. If we fail, we'll probably have to repeat the test until we learn to forgive.

The Judas Test is God's graduate level course in faith, designed to reveal the truth about ourselves: Are we willing to trust Him enough to forgive the Judases in our lives? The book of Hebrews warns, "See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many" (Heb 12:15). When we refuse to forgive we risk infecting others with a "bitter root" of resentment.

what will happen?

2009-03-01T01:02:00.005+08:00

我们是家人，不是陌生人。当我知道这件事后，我是真的很生气，很生气的。但你知道我的心同时已碎了几百万片吗 ? 我念了你们几百次了。我为何要念 ? 都是为了你好。你知道后果有多严重吗 ? 有可能对你们来说这后果很不真实。但你知道多严重吗 ? I'm not prepare for any outcome that may happen. if it really happen, i Don think i can take such impact at all.

我知道对你们来说是一种满足，一种安全感。但难道你们不知道，我如果知道事实的真相之后我会难过，我会伤心，我会担心，我会害怕，我会失望吗 ? 而且我现在就是这样的感受。
我知道你们不了解。我真的不能每分每秒在你们的身边的。

都不会有人要听我说的话，有可能是真的不重要。

这星期一会是不是有一个战争要发生了 ? 我希望没有人会受伤。

You alone

2009-02-22T21:15:00.003+08:00

I've come to Your throne here so cold and alone
I'm calling on Your name
I lift my hands to the sky open wide
and I cry Lord take me away
Take this heavy heart
and this weary soul
and set them free
Remove myself till there's nothing left
but You alone in me

I'm letting go of all that I know
I'm holding on to You alone
I lay it all down
down here at Your feet
I want You alone
You alone

If I go to the heavens above
Lord I know You are there
If I make my bed in the depths
Lord I know You are there
If I rise on the wings of the dawn
or settle on the far side of the sea
Even still Lord I know You will,
You will always be there with me

最美的祝福

2009-02-22T20:46:00.006+08:00

“这一生最美的祝福就是能认识主耶稣

这一生最美的祝福就是能信靠主耶稣”

God is BIG BIG BIG BIG. bigger and greater than i can imagine.

很多事情是不能解释的。 that is no right or wrong decision, there is only Godly decision. man cannot give me an answer. i cant even give myself an answer. only YOU! only God can give me the answer.

就两天，我在不同人的身上学了很多东西。

not every open door opportunity opens to blessing, it may be a door open to disaster. But God will never short change us. whatever you lost, God will NEVER short change us. job is a very good example.

Laminin Laminin Laminin

2009-02-16T22:07:00.004+08:00

this is so amazing!!!

super cool and touching. God wonderful creation! only He can do this! we are wonderfully and fearfully created!

In Jesus Christ, all things hold together! AMEN!

PC was rite. sometime i really wonder why God just cant give me a clearer revelation of His plan. why He cant reveal to me the clear direction. at the end of the day, I'm still alone to make decision. trying to find a way out. with so many suggestions and some, maybe just a tiny bit of hurtful words. and hurting inside. which is really a wrong mindset. "that's no 100% assurance." that why we need faith. faith to trust God and His wonderful plan - to prosper us and not to harm us.

A more challenging year as predicted. a higher level, require more faith. i wonder how God will use me this year. I'm excited! mission trip! and an encounter with God.

whatever my decision is, i will choose to honour God. even it may disappoint some important people of my life.

"How ever i consider my life worth nothing to me, if only i may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me - the task of testifying to the gospel of God's grace." Acts20:24

This weekend....

Love @ the garage 6.30pm Emmanuel house

Be excited!

情人节

2009-02-14T21:58:00.003+08:00

今天是情人节，你是怎样度过的呢 ?
和情人，喜欢的人度过了一个充满意义的一天吗 ?

我不是和情人一起度过的。但是，我也度过了一个充满意义的一天。

期待很久的 PM project 终于能动工了。是又开心又期待的。

we reach ECP at 1plus. didn't noe that area G was so far. and we walked really very long. but thank God, for even providing someone to lead us to our destination. i really never been to area G before even thought i came to ECP for like thousands time already. it is a rather quiet places with strong sea breeze. we seat there and waited, and waited. and we just realise that we actually spend so much time waiting through out this whole project. and it really takes patience and perseverance.
really feels so relax to sit there under the warmth sun with the strong sea breeze blowing. and my worries are aside. it's great to be so close to the nature, the nature creation of God. if i really have time, i really hope i can do QT at such places that is so close to the nature.

we took photos for families, it was very messy at first like we do not know who to approach and family members are all not gather to take the photo. thank God, we still manage to manage. it's really a long process. saw the officers that i talked to on phone and email. the officers and the families are all very friendly, got 1 parent keep calling us to take food and eat. and we really don want to take. cos like wad cikgu said, we are here to work not to eat. but still ate at last. cos is like she keep calling us to eat and we reject. so we accept lo. didn't join in their games and we left at about 7plus.

after the photos is out, will send to them, i really hope to get everything done by next week. not sure whether is it possible. i hope they will be really blessed by us doing such little and simple things for them.

thank you cikgu for waiting for us and driving us to the mrt station :D

绿茶

2009-02-11T00:04:00.002+08:00

我爱上了绿茶！！！

当然是指那些不甜的。甜的绿茶对我来说还是很像洗发水的味道。当然不能太烈，太厚。需要是淡淡的。热的，水要够烧。冷的，要够冰。

有空，大家一起去喝喝茶吧。 :)

accountable

2009-02-08T09:33:00.001+08:00

what ever decision i make, i must be accountable to God.

this is what i will do

2009-02-01T21:35:00.007+08:00

我问了很多很多人的意见。如果是你, 你会去吗? 有会去的和不会去的。我知道不管我再问很多人，他们都不会帮我做选择。始终还是我做的决定。

what matters most is still what He says.
我已经决定了。
if it is really His will for me to for me to do His will there, i will go. if it is not then i wont go. i don want to care and look at what i can do next time for my career or am i interested in that course. what matters most is still His will to be carried out.

Philippians 2:13
"for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose."

His will and purpose is really good. He plans to prosper you and not to harm you.

1John 2:15-17
"Do not love the world or anything in the world. if anyone loves the world, the love if the Father is not in him. for everything in this world- the cravings of sinful man, the lust of his eyes and the boasting of what he has and does- comes not from the Father but from the world. the world and its desire pass away, but the man who does the will of God lives forever."

this world will pass away only things that have eternal value will last forever. anything that doesn't count to have eternal value is eternally useless.

when the stage is bare tonight
there's no one else
just You and me

when the curtain closes behind
there's no pretend I'm on my knees

i will lay down my life
for the love sacrifice
you gave to me
it's all because of You
all be cause of You

出来了

2009-01-31T00:28:00.003+08:00

结果出来了。我现在不知要做什么选择。

NP 的 Horticul & landscape management.

去? 不去 ?

很累 .... 那两个又没来上班了 ......

5 hong bao from God

2009-01-25T21:19:00.003+08:00

God wants to give you hong bao. I'm no kidding.

the 5 hong bao...
(proverbs 3:1-10)

1st hong bao
He want to prolong your life and prosper you.
2rd hong bao
He will let you win favor and good name in the sight of God and man
3rd hong bao
He will make your path straight and direct your path.
4rd hong bao
He wants to bring health to your body and nourish your bones
5rd hong bao
He want to fill your storeroom to overflowing.

BUT terms and condition apply.
1st we need to keep his command and not forget His teaching.
2rd we must not let faith and love leave us.
3rd we need to trust God and not lean on our own understanding.
4rd we must fear God and shun evil.
5rd we must honor God with our wealth and our first fruits.

happy Chinese new year to everyone!
seriously I'm not looking forward to it. as every year is the usual thing. feel more like a routine.
i working 4 days next week. is it good or bad news. that manager calls me to help. and the reason he gave me is that he wants to give off days to the full timer. then how about me? cant i celebrate Chinese new year? i really plan to work only 2 days. but i think whatever i do for them, they will not appreciate it.

was flipping through my bible just now. and saw this book in the OT. Habakkuk.
i donnoe why but i read on. maybe because the first title actually state "Habakkuk's Complaint". and i think I'm complaining too much about my job. and i want to see how God answer Habakkuk's prayer. and when i reach the end of the book, the last 3 verse speaks to me.
PS: Habakkuk only got 3 chapter.

Habakkuk 3:17-19
" 17 though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls. 18 yet i will rejoice in the Lord, i will be joyful in God my Savior. 19 the Sovereign Lord is my strength; he makes my feet like feet of a deer, he enables me to go on the heights. ...."

even if my world fall, i know God is my strength and He will enables me to walk through it. :D

turn your eyes upon Jesus

2009-01-25T19:45:00.001+08:00

my week have not been good.

.....
sad
disappointment
anger
fear
lost
weak
tired
.....
I'm totally shaken...

please forgive me if i have not put on my usual smile in school.

I'm super affected by certain things that happened this week. in work and home.

I'm fine now. at least half of me is now OK.

please pray for me. i feel that fear is captivating me. pray for peace and joy to recites in me.

our "hard work"

that the happy me! i want to be that person in the picture. the right 1 k. hahax. i want to be that person that shines God's love.

crossing over

2009-01-11T01:51:00.009+08:00

新年的第一个 post.
新年一定要换新包包，新发型，新鞋子，新衣服吗 ? 我觉得就算拥有这一些新的东西和改变，如果我们不改变我们的想法，我们看这世界，这新的一年的态度，一切都不会有变化。唯一的不同应该也只是桌上的日历和日期。一旦我们看这世界的眼光不一样，一切都不一样了。

今年我想要做的事可多了。我首先要打好基础，这样才可以健高楼。一个人的基础真的很重要。

last year was a great year and this year is gonna be greater! 前年，我真的不知道我是怎样度过的。 not only i have to study hard in this new school, i still have my o level. on top of that i have to work and my church commitment. last year my mum got a major surgery. and i have to take care of her, bring her to appointment, which then missed a lot of lesson. but God was faithful. times when i want to give up, i will keep reminding myself the reason that I'm here on this earth is for God and it just provided me strength to continue to press on. times when i feel that i am very far from God, He show me that He is always there. this year is gonna be greater than last year becos He is the reason!

school just started this week. I'm like back to my routine. so bored. but i believe things gonna be very different for me in school this year! yes, fulfilling that purpose for me to be in this school!

but a lot of things for this year is still very uncertain. is like hanging in the air. still no direction yet. things like where i will be this year in church, what are the things that i can do and contribute and how can i serve Him even more. no matter where i will be, is still moving to the same goal. just that have to follow my calling. but i still do not know my calling. which prove that i still have not know God deeper. that 1 of my new year resolution, is to learn and study deeper in the word of God. so who is willing to be my mentor? I'm desperately searching for one too. please introduce one to me! hahax.

recently work is really a torture. bcos of that person. that uncle. i really cant stand him at all. he is really a weird person. if he is in a good mood, he will sing to me. when he is in bad mood, he will really go crazy. he will fail to cook the chicken fillet that the kitchen require to make burgers then said he never hear us calling him to cook. then shout here shout there. we shout to him to cook, he ignore. then after that blame us when he didn't hear. end up we have to cook it ourselves. but this is still very minor.

worst is that when he carry the tray that is full of chicken, he don say excuse me as he want to supply the chicken in. we don even know he is standing behind us. he will just bang us and it hurts! that is 1 time he just kicked me to signal me to move away! of course i did tell my boss. and my boss said just ignore him. yes, I'm trying very hard. but he keep on picking on me and makes me feel very uncomfortable! GRR!!! he will purposely makes me feel irritated by standing very close to me or take his food put it near my face and call me to eat it. or he will talk crap and laugh at his own crap. crap like 小妹，我们一起换工作，吃饭，出去。 or he will act like a manager and ask whether i got work on which day which day, and why cannot work.

nowadays i really scare of him. when i come work he will purposely block my way and talk to me "小妹！你来了！ “ then i will ignore him and walk away. i know i very bad. but i really cant stand him! each day i go to work, i see him when i enter the store, my mood will be ruined with his greeting! my boss did tell me that he maybe out of stress that why he behave like that. i heard he holds 2 jobs and he hardly sleep more than 4 hours each day. i am still trying to understand and accept the way he is. and its is really not easy.

i shall put this worries to God. He will carry it. hahax. that goes me again, complaining about work. there is a lot more than these! i am really stupid! people slack there and wait for me to do all the work. and i really do all! do with anger some more knowing clearly that they making use of me. and i didn't even ask them to help me. very pathetic. people take break more than half an hour i take break 15mins. AHHH! STOP! must STOP complaining and be grateful with what i have.

really feel like changing job. 如果可以就好！

some of my this year goals and expectation is...
to continue to move out of comfort zone and to strike conversation with people that i do not know. i want to spend more time with my families, spend time talking to them, that means my dialect have to improve! and also want to spend more time with my friends that i have neglected since last year start of school. not forgetting to spend more time with God. and to manage my time well. to move on to a higher level of growth in God. to be a channel that channel God's love to people.

and a lot more....

is not what i can do or what i want to do. but is what God wants to do.

what goals have you set this year? how are you going to achieve it? no goals? no improvement?

my church changed a new mission and is called "maximising the God-given potential". let us all work toward this mission!

Every thing is different

Every thing's so different now

I know I'm not the same

my life You've changed

I want to be with You

I want to spend eternity with You Lord!

new year resolution

2008-12-30T00:12:00.006+08:00

left with 1 more day to 2009!

every time come to the end of year will always think of new year resolution and thanksgiving. will take time to review what is this year resolution and what did i achieve this year.

i cant seems to find my resolution for this year. LOL. i have already long forgotten abdt it. i only remember 1 of the resolution is to at every end of the day, thank God for whatever that He had bless me. so that i can have a overflowing 2008! but, i not really have complete doing it. hahax.

how abdt this year? what is my resolution. each year is a different year. you either move up or you move down. i really don want to move 1 step back. i want to step forward!

so for next year resolution is really gonna be higher expectation then this year.

gonna plan more detail in my resolution , expectation and personal and spiritual goal!

两天

2008-12-29T11:53:00.002+08:00

多两天就 2009年了。我真的还有很多很多东西没去做。在这么短的时间内怎么可能完成！算了吧。

第二个星期的暑假就这样结束了。好可惜。还乘多一个星期就开学了。超不想回学校。因为我超不想回去那个超忙碌的生活。我超不想每天很早起，不想放学后去作工。不想每天回到家是天黑的还是家人都睡了。还有很多不想的。

不管我有多么不想，我一定还要面对，到不如往好的方面去想。从不想到想，想，想。

last week is a super busy and eventful week. got the my hope cum Christmas gathering follow by last day of CCIS, then Christmas day, CCIS thanksgiving and fish4men thanksgiving. not only that, there is 2days that i have to g o back school for cca and do some project stuff.

even thought is so pack, i still manage to find time to enjoy my holiday! went to k with secondary school cca teacher, senior and N. i was late for the singing session. when i reach i was like "wow" so many food! and I'm really hungry. they order kfc and pizza hut. plus chips. i think i spend most of my time eating. LOL.

i manage to go out with Michelle and terry! ytd after church we actually decided to go bowling. but nobody seems to be very on. so only 3 of us go. end up we played pool due to budget and waiting time. hahax. and yes, i learnt something new. i never tried pool before. was so glad to learn. i cant stop laughing at my stupid moves. but thank God, terry and Michelle are very patience with me and very encouraging.

went for dinner at kfc due to budget plus i got 25% discount. after that we went to the roof top of esplanade, listen to the performance, talk, see terry dance (hahax) and more talking! reach home was really quite late. but was great, have a good time bonding with them:D

last day of CCIS is really crazy. cos we are at ps. and ps got alot of us, the red t shirt. so many that we tot we wont be able to share to anyone. but is more easier then i tot. shared to 5pple!

dat day was raining and dizzying. Marilyn, nandy,pc and i went abit crazy and high. we sang silent night and joy to the world on the streets like a choir. LOL. Marilyn really went abit crazy keep shouting to me "merry Christmas!"

was really a great week, got to know so many new friends! alot of bonding and fun! but this week is a week that pack with work work and work! but i really looking forward to watch night and thanksgiving service! will there be water baptism? i really love to see. hahax.

CCIS 20dec2008

2008-12-22T14:53:00.007+08:00

is 100% FREE OF CHARGE!!!

the greatest free gift! eternal life! is a gift that means you cant earn it. it is given FREE!

we took this at one of the panel that talks about the hottest news in town! hahax!

"with God all things are possible." matt 19:26

pc and i stood directly opposite this building that have this verse. and on and off, we keep repeating this verse to ourselves to encourage us to press on. now we will never forget this verse.

we are the reason

2008-12-22T13:46:00.004+08:00

here goes my first week of holidays. what did i accomplish during this first week of holidays lehx? nothing much too. catch up with my sleep. but some how still lack of sleep.

Christmas Christmas Christmas. have to chiong Christmas card or not really not enough time.

Saturday, nandy, pc and i was out at orchard road. not for shopping but for CCIS. we are to start a conversation with someone and HB distributor. starting a conversation was really not so easy when all the people was like rushing from 1 place to another. but really thank God, at least 1 person is able to hear the Christmas story from me and it makes a lot of different. so was really really thankful, cos i got 3. hahax. and yes, my line dat night goes like this " merry Christmas! free programme handbook and postcard!" before i even finish my line, the person walks off. morning the line was" hi, are you free to spare me 5mins of your time to do a survey?"

what a day, on the streets- full of rejection.

pc and i went to see the stage performance when our duty almost end. since it is so near. hahax. was super touch with the song that they sing. cos it is full of meaning.

the first Christmas happened 2000 years ago at the town of Bethlehem. Christmas is a time of giving and receiving, is a time where we celebrate Jesus Christ birth.

if this will be the shape of a Christmas tree... how great will that be. every year during Christmas everybody will remember what Christmas means when they look at the Christmas trees.

As little children we would dream of Christmas morn

Of all the gifts and toys we knew we'd find

But we never realized a baby born one blessed night

Gave us the greatest gift of our lives

We were the reason that He gave His life

We were the reason that He suffered and died

To a world that was lost

He gave all He could give

To show us the reason to live

As the years went by we learned more about gifts

The giving of ourselves and what that means

On a dark and cloudy day a man hung crying in the rain

All because of love

All because of love

We were the reason that He gave His life

We were the reason that He suffered and died

To a world that was lost

He gave all He could give

To show us the reason to live

I finally found the reason for living

It's in giving every part of my heart to Him (every part to him)

And all that I do every word that i say (you know I'll be saying)

I'll be giving my all just for Him,

For Him (everything for Him)

We are the reason that He gave His life

We are the reason that he suffered and died

To a world that was lost he gave all he could give,

to show us the reason to live

[He is the reason to live]

(don't you know do you know the reason that he came,

oh he came to save us when he gave his life for us)

he suffered and died

To a world that was lost

He gave everything (everything that He had He gave)

To show us the reason to live

i stood still and looked at the crowd of people. some was super excited, taking photos, buying the mini Christmas cap to clip on their hair.....

my heart aches a little....

there is a old auntie that i met yesterday during saturation. she speak dialect only and my dialect was not very good. but still can understand what she said. she keep telling me that she is very sad. cos she cant walk and so she have to depend on a wooden cane to move around at home. she said she cant go out of house and i can feel that she really feels very lonely. and the hospital cant help her with her leg, and she heard that our church tradition Chinese medicine clinic was good. she hopes to consult the doctor too. my heart really aches for her. there is so many old folks in our community that is like this old auntie that need helps. i really don mind to just go and sit down with them and listen to them talk and make them happy.

dear God, You are the healer. may Your healing power rest upon their body right now and remove all the pain and illness and all the works of the devil. let them see You, the light and the truth.

时间

2008-12-15T11:40:00.005+08:00

4 more days to CCIS!!!

10 more days to Christmas!!!

17 more days to 2009!!!

21 more days to school reopen!!!

before we knew it all these days are gone.

father: why did you put your watch in the bank?
son: I'm trying to save time.

you can save money but you can't save time. you can hoard money but you cant hoard time. unlike money, the best use is not to save it but to spend it.

boy: God, how long is a million years?
God: in my theological framework, about a minute.
boy: God, how much is a million dollars?
God: a million dollars is like a 50 cents to me
boy: God, can i have a 50cents?
God: i am busy now. would you give me a minute?

to God, a minute may be a million years but to us, it's still a minute.
we must not wait for the hours before we begin our tasks: we must seize the minutes, for it's in the minute by minute moment that much gets done. (George Ong)

your life is basically the composite moments of your time. managing your time is really managing your life.
you can kill time or kill yourself. it comes to the same thing in the end. (Elson Trivolet)

holiday holiday!!!

2008-12-14T12:51:00.003+08:00

finally !!! finally!!!! i have always been waiting for this day to come right from the start of the first day of school reopen.

holidays means more time to work. holidays means i can sleep as late as i want.

3weeks Holiday is super super short. if i spend my first week of holiday working, second week on CCIS, and third week on work. where can i find the time to study for the upcoming test and exam for the new term? zzz.

i must be glad at least there is still holidays.....

Your name

2008-12-09T00:17:00.008+08:00

You wrote Your glorious name

across the heavens and it read

Elohim - The Creator.

You pronounced Your holy name

to Your people and it was

Yahweh - Lord of relationship.

You posted Your powerful name

at life's valleys and dead-ends and it was

El Shaddai - All sufficient God.

You spoke Your holy name

into fears and conflicts and it was

Jehovah Shalom - The Lord Our Peace.

You whispered Your compassionate name

into sorrow and brokenness and it was

Jehovah Jireh - The Lord Provides.

You signed Your most beautiful name

in blood upon our hearts and it was

Jesus - Jehovah is Salvation.

work

2008-12-06T00:49:00.006+08:00

this is the group photo taken before my manager( the person in white) take leave to prepare for her marriage. she is now married! married last month on 16 Nov!

my best clique at work! Lina! she is finally back to work last month right after her O level exam. really miss her so much. we haven seen each other for like half a year. time really fly so fast. seriously working with a friend feel so different than to work with others. so i really hope that the real work in school will be approved. then i will be able to work with geetha. hahax.

i have been working in KFC for 3 years alr! and this coming year will be my fourth year in KFC. yes i would really like to change job, but it is really very hard to find a job that fits in my unfix schedule. although working in KFC are very rough and tough work but I'm just too used to it that i may not want to walk out of this comfort zone. i hope to find a job at a christian book store or christian cd store. or any job related to God. not only i will be working in a good environment but also serving God at the same time!

i think my boss will never give me my 2star position at all. anyway is ok, i don want. now the problem is why cant he tell me straight that he or the HQ do not want to give me that position? it have been months since i last heard from him. sometime i really don understand him. 2 of his staff keep saboing shift. this week have been 3 times in a row le. why do he still give face to them and let them continue working? i know we are lack of manpower, but did you think of your staff? it is really very unfair and tough for us. you want to give your face then we your staff suffer. what is this? continue to give them face and history will keep repeating and repeating. i really pity all the staff. especially those that work on the shift that they sabo. but life still have to go on.

working that will always good time and bad time..... good times where we shared laughed. bad times where we shared anger and frustration...

those riders working at my place are really not MAN. cannot see i hold a very big and hot tray with 36 pcs of chicken on top is it? cant you just wait and let me carry the tray out first. must push your way through mah? what if i drop all the chicken? i know they don even care. GRR!!! they don even know how to walk properly. i wonder is it eyes sight problem or they cant talk? always knock on to me. sometime it is really painful lo. but i know they don care! I.... MUST BE PATIENCE!!!

everything is in His control

2008-12-03T21:24:00.009+08:00

today just finish my practical assignment and phase test. you know every time i phase test or practical assignment I'm always very unlucky. is either i broke something or my calculator is not working. so I'm super worried that i may break something today. thank God i nv break the microscope or anything. is super ex. i cant afford to pay. but likewise, I'm still unlucky. there will always be things that will tear me down on that day of test. it not happened once or twice, is every time. is it a curse or what? or God just wanted to test me? i just don get it.

what happened today was, i just came to release that my lab coat is in the locker and i don have the key to it. my stupid test start at 8am and only mich and hy got the key. but their test is at 9+am. and they wont b able to reach on time to help me with the locker. worst, i forgot my calculator (blur me). tw is not in sch too. half of our class have finish the test wont be in school. and only 8 of us taking the test at 8am. May's class don have lesson in the morning too. so i really donnoe who to turn to for help. hy cal me to go the locker and see any of our class pple will b there to able to lend me the lab coat. I'm not sure whether i really can get 1 lab coat not. how abdt calculator? at that point I'm really worried. what if i can only take the test next round at 9 plus, which i don think is very good.

fear just gripped my heart again. i know in my heart that the only person that i can depend on and turn to is none other than God alone. but how can God help me? drop 1 lab coat and calculator from the sky? i donnoe how.

i know i can trust God. man can fail you but God will nv fail you. i know He is always faithful even when we are faithless. so i really pray that i just want to trust in Him that He will provide me with this 2 things. that He will put someone on my way that i can lend this 2 things. He can even provide pc with exam question. what else cant He provide? my fear are gone. i don want to think further, cos i know He is in control.

when i was on my way to the lift , i saw 2 person that i know. just the right timing! not from our class. someone from class B. so without hesitating, i went up to them for help. thank God. they are not having practical now and i can lend from them. i only lend from them lab coat, although in my heart i really want to lend calculator from them very much. but I'm not very close with them. if i ask for calculator too, i think will b too much. i know where's the limit. so i went off to the lift and take the lift up to the lab. and guess who i saw? LOL. Esther! just in time! hahahx. my calculator got hope le. and i lend from her. and the test went quite smoothly. just that i need to be more patience with ms fong's marking scheme.

主耶稣，你对我真的太好了。 Your timing is always right!

when in lab math class, then i realise my calculator is in between my files. zzzzzz. but God still provided!

"do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your request to God. and the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus."
Philippians 4:6,7

if in everything, whether big or small, huge or tiny, we pray and ask from God, i think at the end of the day, we will have countless things to thank God for! Hallelujah!!!

害怕

2008-12-01T23:43:00.004+08:00

今天我真的拼了。压抑心里的恐惧打了该打的电话。本来应该很早就打的，一直到现在才完成。不知道是什么原因就很害怕。我一直祈祷，一直祈祷。主，他真的对我很好。从中我又看到他动工了。 thank God!

GM课完后，我真的很担心。很担心，很担心。因为我总觉得 10Dec class test, 老师会给我一个很大很大的鸡蛋。 tutorial 1 的问题我真的都不会做。我自己很清楚的知道我会在 class test 做不到。非常害怕。

I'm really thinking hard what to do abdt it. how can i in such short time understand and remember all GM topics? fear just gripped my heart. i donnoe how.

You have put me to this and You will get me thru this. i will trust and depend on You.

first day of the last month

2008-12-01T11:59:00.003+08:00

we are at the last month of this year alr!!! dec is gonna be full of excitement ! so many things going on. be excited! CCIS, prison carolling, thanksgiving! and of course school hoildays is comimng!!!

God of My Forever (Live) - City Harvest Church

GOD OF MY FOREVER

God of my youth
I remember your call on my life took me o'er
your love has seen me through all my days
I stand here by your grace

On this altar I've written my life
Tells of a story I have with you my Lord
I want the world to know

God of my forever
And forever I'm with you
My life is saved with a price
Your sacrifice redeemed my soul
God of my forever
And forever I will sing
My greatest honor will always be
To serve my Lord and King

God of my all
I've surrendered
My heart finds its rest in your word
Praises will not be enough to show
How my Love for you has grown
Nothing matters when you're here with me
In the end just to hear you say "Well done"
Bowing before your throne

God of my forever
And forever I'm with you
My life is saved with a price
Your sacrifice redeemed my soul
God of my forever
And forever I will sing
My greatest honor will always be
To serve my Lord and King

Forever and ever
Jesus you alone in glory reign
Forever and ever
In you i walk this narrow way

we need Your help!

2008-11-29T12:52:00.005+08:00

i hope our PM project will be able to carry out smoothly. I'm getting quite worried. we are really behind time. maybe i have not put in enough hard work. FSC not confirm. photo frame not confirm. 30 family contacts not there yet. photographer haven find. backdrop not done. location not set. so many things not yet done!

"Lord, i pray that my group will gain the favor of men. that you will provide us with open doors to share our love and Your love to the people that we will be reaching out to. please teach us how to be very patience with one another and give us strength to press on and not to give up when we face rejection. Lord teach us and guide us the next step to take. give us wisdom for the decision that we need to make and give us boldness for us to speak. "

"with man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible."Matthew 19:26

风筝

2008-11-22T13:00:00.001+08:00

这是什么 ?

看到了吗 ?

风筝 ...

我好想好想像一个飞走的风筝 ....

逃避这世界，逃避一切 ...

happy birthday nandy!

2008-11-15T00:57:00.004+08:00

happy 18th birthday nandy lexandra!!!

my prayer to you is that you will be able to continue to grow deeper in God and be someone that after God's heart. and will be willing to serve God and put God first in your life. and that you will be able to encounter God and experience His agape, unconditional Love. and that your life will change completely by God.

rescue

2008-11-13T02:14:00.011+08:00

You are the source of life,
And I can't be left behind.
No one else will do,
And I will take hold of You.

I need You Jesus,
To come to my rescue.
Where else can I go?
There's no other name by
Which I am saved.
Capture me with grace,
I will follow You.

This world has nothing for me,
I will follow You.
This world has nothing for me,
I will follow You.

i believe in what You said

2008-11-13T00:54:00.001+08:00

time fly so fast. half a week have gone. and soon this week will be gone. and soon 2008 will be behind us. 时间不等人。赶不上时间。。。。一直追。。。

我很期待星期天。我最爱星期天。不是因为这星期天是我生日。而是我就很喜欢。因为....

cos i will always find the answer that I'm looking for the week . recharged and restored. cos Sunday is a day that can be in the house of God and entering into the holy of holy and to a secret place with only me and God alone. and Sunday is a holy day make by God to rest! 我爱星期天！

I'm really super tired and bored to go work straight after school. and work was really bad when people don communicate and where communication breaks down. which i learn how to actually depend on myself than to depend on others. i will really go crazy! if everyone that i talk to just don want to reply me! is really makes me mad. cos excuse me, I'm talking to you, not the wall. response!

很忙！很忙！很忙！

PM project must be carry out asap as date line is getting nearer and nearer. still haven manage to find any sponsor. will it be able to carry out smoothly is still a big question mark. 要加油！

aqua 真的很无聊！我太习惯忙来忙去了。一下叫我没事赶，我实在停不下来。

recently, i was super disappointed as i felt people don appreciate me of what i have done for them in work. and my thinking was really floating at "my presence is not important" even if I'm not around, it is just 1 less person. no matter whether is it in school or at work. BUT..... it is not really like that after all. what God told me through His word assured me of my important. and i had throw these thought away.

no matter whether is it possible or not possible. or whether i can see it or i cant. i believe what You said will surely come to pass.

JIN YU, step out in faith!!!

this is how i want to celebrate my birthday:
i want to spend it with God in the secret place.

and this is what i really want for birthday:
a changed, new heart.

the cross

2008-11-04T22:00:00.015+08:00

different people have different view of what the cross mean to them at different season of their life. look carefully at all the pictures. what is the first thing that comes to your mind when you see the cross?

courage, peace, hope, LOVE, secure, assurance, salvation, acceptance, joy, power, grace, holy, strength, forgiveness ...........

Thank you for the cross, Lord

Thank you for the price You paid

Bearing all my sin and shame

In love You came

And gave amazing grace

Thank you for this love, Lord

Thank you for the nail pierced hands

Washed me in Your cleansing flow

Now all I know

Your forgiveness and embrace

.......

look to the cross

2008-11-02T01:46:00.009+08:00

in everything, i will look to You. for your timing is always right. thanks pc, for the encouragement. " if you are struggling and wanting to go into a deeper relationship with God and thinking whether you are stagnant, you are actually still growing."

"therefore i tell you, do not worry about your life, what you eat or drink; or about you body, what you will wear. is not life more important than food, and the body more important that clothes? look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. are you not much more valuable than they? who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?"

~Matthew 6:25-28~

which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? or if he asks for a fish will give him a snake? if you, then though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him?"

~Matthew 7:9-11~

when difficulties come our way, the road just seems too hard and too long to walk. the refrain goes round and round in our heads, "when will this end?"

we need to first recognize the right problem before we can understand what solution and where the solution can be found.

the biggest problem with us is that our relationship with God is broken becos of sin and there's nothing within our own power or ability to solve this problem. even when we tried hard, we cant get out of it. imagine there's no way out of this struggle. all we can anticipate is a continued sense of frustration and discouragement and guilt, and even if we bear up under it, it is hopeless.

But...

"salvation is found in no other name under heaven given to men by which we must be saved."

~Acts 4:12~

there is always hope in Jesus Christ.

"for God so loved the world that he gave his one and only son, that whoever believed in him shall not perish but have eternal life."
~John 3:16~

im back!!!

2008-11-02T01:00:00.004+08:00

I AM BACK!

sorry that is like dino years already that i last update my blog. cos i must restrain myself from using the computer so as to focus more on my o level exam. this few weeks really get so used to studying for math that i some how every time i go home now, i feel like taking out math and do. although exam are over, but life is still much the same. i have to get back to work, so as to clear my 2 months tuition fees. feel super dread.

yes, and i went back to work today. situation are still the same. i cant believe that our store is still short of manpower after so long of changing the boss. looks like the new boss didn't really succeed in changing the situation.

sir Sophia said " today you alone hor, can manage not?" i still tot that he is joking with me. cos is impossible for me to manage alone. so many things need to be done. kitchen leh. so many things. am i superman? unfortunately, he is not joking, really got not enough staff today. super sianx. the morning kitchen staff oso didn't hand over to me properly so many things not prepare. and after she left is really me, and me alone. GRRR... inside me was screaming at top voice. haix.... of course i really cannot manage alone, i still do get some help from the cashiers and sir himself. Thank God! but some cashier really thinks that i am 超人。 she just ordered from me that stupid twister and she want it immediately. hello is not instant leh, i need time to make. and she repeatedly shouted for twister for 3 time. and i reply back 3 time that need to wait for 2 mins. and the third time, I'm really screaming. cos is really super irritating. I'm alone leh. cannot wait? i really hope this kind of situation will get better. i really hate it! go work 1 time, angry 1 time. i want to learn how to be so patience.

i really feel that I'm missing out of school lesson quite alot. but GM really very boring. what to do? still have to attend. thank God, o level is really finally over. but somehow after my last paper, i didn't really feel very relief. i feel nothing. this year paper is really more easy compare to last year. if my mum will have to bring me to this world 1 year later, i may not be where i am now. but, i never regret. believe it or not, i still cant believe i fail my math o level for last year! hahax. so this year o level result, i better don put too much hope. 不然会跌的比前年还痛。

i joined aquaculture club, i cant believe it. the club that i always make fun of the name. i cant believe that i am going to work with fish! hahax. maybe is really meant to be like dat. that i will eventually join this cca. maybe is oso God's plan cos i do fishing on streets. now i learn how to take care of fish. just like i will learn how to follow up and take care of my "fish". guess what, i volunteered to join their competition. and this competition, the project require us to go down to the sea to take photo. which means diving. wowow. sounds exciting. i never try diving before. but, im scare too. LOL. now i donnoe whether i make the right choice. you never know if you never try. maybe i will fall in love in diving. me, Michelle and hui yun, we are the 三姐妹花！cos we always stick together. like super glue. but this name is given by Mr Oliver, he really very funny, i hope, i can laugh all my stress away~~~~ hahahahahahahahax~~~~~~~ although in our gang, I'm not the laughing box like you two, laugh almost on everything, but I'm the lame box bah. hahahx. real fun jokes will really makes you laugh till burst to tears. and looks like i didn't have such great laugh for very long le. i miss the crystal growing pple. used to have so much real laughter with them. if we can only form a crystal growing club. it will be fun. do too much crystal growing le. feel like growing crystal suddenly. so much more fun then staring at the fish and the fish stare back to you. yes, super boring on the first day we join the cca, stand there do nothing. no sense of belonging yet. i miss CRYSTAL GROWING!

coming to PM project management, i feel so dread to do the project. somehow it is really crazy. cos i or maybe we, never did such project before. a big project that we need to seek sponsorship and CDC helps. i really donnoe how this project is going to come about. Lord, pls guide me.

i suddenly realise that i got really alot of commitment. and it is really not good. cos cannot focus. I'm trying to cut down. but it don seems to be working but more commitment came in instead. school, work and church, i really need to balance. but i really donnoe which to give up. maybe i should give up badminton but i really love this sports. imagine if o level is not over yet.

Happy birthday Michelle! :D i really hope you are happy! from the inside out, not just outside. i really hope that you will be able to find the happiness that will last forever not just temporal, and will not fade off. this joy that will still remain even if you lose everything. even if you face with the most sad thing in the world, you will still be smiling and saying that you are happy. that my prayer for you. 加油！ sweet 17 birthday.

how come i suddenly don feel so familiar to this number 17? LOL. I'm still 17 for another 14 days. but some how, 十七好像好谣远。十八还没到就反佛已到。14days more for me to enjoy my 17 years old age. I'm becoming a young adult after 14 days. time really fly so fast. i cant catch up. the older you get, the more responsible. 我真的很不想长大。这世界实在太乱了。 2more months to end of the year. this year is really such a special year. and is You that make it so special.

some asked me what do i want for my birthday. i donnoe but don buy expensive stuff k. is the heart that counts. but don go and spend alot of time and make hand made gift. is really time consuming. i rather you spend the time usefully on eternal investment. hahax. sound so funny, if i write here what i want for birthday. LOL. just ask me bah, if you really want to know.

i love this song. all for love. that the reason He came. i can beat around the bushes, round and round, but will still come into conclusion with this word- love. He is the only 1 that i found that will provide such love.

"love is patient, love is kind. it does not envy, it does not boast. it is not proud. it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. love does not delight in evil but rejoices with truth, always hopes, always perseveres."

1cor 13:4-7

"this is love: not that we loved God, but he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins."

1john 4:10

All for love a Father gave
For only love could make a way
All for love the heavens cried
For love was crucified

Oh how many times have I broken Your heart
But still You forgive
If only I ask
And how many times have You heard me pray
Draw near to me

Everything I need is You
My beginning, my forever
Everything I need is You

Let me sing all for love
I will join the angel song
Ever holy is the Lord
King of Glory
King of all

Oh how many times have I broken Your heart
But still You forgive
If only I ask
And how many times have You heard me pray
Draw near to me

Everything I need is You
My beginning, my forever
Everything I need is You (x2)

All for a love a Saviour prayed
Abba Father have Your way
Though they know not what they do
Let the Cross draw man to You

Everything I need is You
My beginning, my forever
Everything I need is You (x2)

the season of change

2008-10-12T02:31:00.008+08:00

went street e today. never got a chance to partner pc. expected. LOL. we want so badly to partner each other but caijie purposely separate us. he said only when pc says 1day that she don want to partner me then he will put us together. end up partner with Winnie and Benjamin. we 3 people abit scary to approach pple. so we separated but keep watch of each other. and today aljunied mrt is really unusual. think due to the o level exam period bah. i can hardly find any pple around my age grp. and most of the pple we approached give us responds like" sorry not free" " I'm in a hurry." worst are those no matter how hard i tried, look also don look at me. i was wondering... just a few minutes of your time only. why cant spare me? i don see any harm.

so, even till the last minute, i cant find 1 person to share to, i was like" no!!! i must at least share to 1 today!" keep praying that God can give me open doors, and lead me to the person that He wants me to speak to. and yes, door open. finally! Ben found that person, so i was helping him. and this one and only person is really enough. he got saved. we prayed! yeah!!!! i can see that excitement in Ben. the joy of sharing the gospel is something that you really have to experience.

and i didn't know that Winnie got salvation too. yes! there was a total of 3 salvation today. praise God! I'm sure the angles are rejoicing in heaven. leading someone to Christ is 1 thing. following up with the person is another thing. and i think this part is tougher than the first part. and this is where i cant depend on my own strength to do. or not i really will be very broken.

caijie said the notice board must change abit here and there. not really abit. quite a big bit. after i heard what he said, i almost faint. LOL. cos is going to be alot of work. n he wants me to write a testimony. faint x2. suddenly feels so busy again.

rushed off to EH for Elene and victor's wedding. that my first time attending a wedding. amazed. next time if i really got married, my wedding's message that the pastor going to share, no matter what must have gospel message and sinners' prayer. this is call one stone kill two birds. Elene is so happy. feel very happy for her too. i wonder what kind of person will God prepare for me. but now i just cant help but feel disgust abdt BGR. sorry if offend any1.

rushed off to work. thank God. not so busy. i really really need God's help to teach me how to love and accept this person at work. i cant help but dislike her. maybe bcos she can slack and i cant. and the way that she always thinks she is somebody. i really want to love her. but somewhere some part of me is not willing.

recently i feel that I'm not like myself. feel that i have change to another me. which i really don like. and started to wonder where have i gone. den realise that I'm still up there in the clouds. is time for me to be back and face the reality. n i really believe that this is a season of change God had for me. something must be done for me to move on. i really pray that i can get pass this season and move on. i know nothing is impossible for God. but something is really i need to help myself before God can help me. just like making a decision. jia you!

i love this songs. cos its always remind me of God and His timing. His perfect timing.

Everything in its Time - Corrine May

Sometimes I wonder what lies ahead
How long till my hunger is fed
They say it's hard to make it in this part of town
So many people on this merry-go-round

Some folks try astrology
Some turn to crystal balls
To find an answer,
To get through it all
I just fall on my knees and
I try to pray
In the silence I can hear Him say

The river runs and the river hides
Out to the ocean and under the sky
I promise you, the answer will come
Hold on to patience and watch for the sign
Everything in its time

I often feel like I'm two steps behind
Somebody must have moved that finish line
There are a thousand reasons
Why I should give up
But I'm stubborn in the things I believe

The river runs and the river hides
Out to the ocean and under the sky
I promise you, the answer will come
Hold on to patience and watch for the sign

'cause maybe there's another plan
One I still can't see
A little surprise, like your love in my life
Funny how time changes how we see

The river runs and the river hides
Out to the ocean and under the sky
I promise you, the answer will come
Hold on to patience and watch for the sign
Everything in its time
Everything in its time

have you found where you are?

no title

2008-10-12T01:12:00.006+08:00

i cant believe it. left only 1 day. which is today then sch reopen le. this hoilday i really never get any recharge of battery from it.. instead battery got weaker. but, it is really a full of activities de hoildays. and yes, o level english is so near after sch start. i cant imagine.

feel abit nerovous towards the new sem. wonder what will happen as new term start. may this new term be a start of new of all things, new life.

last sunday, went to celebrate aaron's birthday at waraku.

happy birthday! guess his age if u can.

grp photos.

before we left waraku.

after that, we went bowling. so was like cum cell outing. so long never have cell outing le. and this is really really my first time playing bowling. hahax.. guess how much points i got. bowling was real fun. hahax. after that, went to the acarde. hahax. now i know marilyn can actually play parapara. n now i now how peici actually plays fighting games. really a great time.

its into eternity

2008-10-07T00:07:00.004+08:00

上个星期，我终于终于可以说：” 我不是很忙！！！ “ 但是过得很 fulfilling. 完全利用我所有的时间。但却又好像发生好多好多的事。好像做了好多好多的事。

just that Monday was studying, Tuesday and Wednesday worked full shift, Thursday went to impact's chalet, Friday just came back from chalet, study, Saturday, fish4men and work and Sunday, the best, church and Aaron's birthday celebration cum cell outing.

now i cant say that i don really have a holiday. cos i really had a lot fun in the chalet and cell outing. good method of distressing.

And, holidays is ending soon. in 6 days time, will be back to sch. walking that same path, taking that same bus. doing the same things, falling asleep in the bus. honestly i really not looking forward to this new sem. cos of the pack schedule. 4 days class is at 8am. and i think 2 out of the 4 days, i maybe late for class. and 3 days lesson end at 5pm. but, 实终还是要习惯它的。 this i noe very clearly. but i just feel to complaint for awhile. plus, new sem going to change CA and meeting new teachers. i donnoe what kind of challenge is lying ahead. i really don wish holiday to end so fast. cos i noe once sch start is the beginning of new stress and problems. i just want to escape from all these just for awhile more. at least till my o level finish. can this be done? and result of the previous 2 modules is out too. although it didn't turn out to be what i expect, i want to thank God. for seeing me thru this exam, first exam taken in this new sch, new environment. and i want to be grateful and satisfy with the things that You gave me. thank You!!!

work on Tues and Wed was really super crazy as usual. 1 is PH eve and another is PH. kfc is flooded with people. especially with that location and is Malays' new year. but to my surprise, PH eve, the last day of fasting, customer from morning till evening is mostly malays. that weird. aunty and i really agree that is really super strange. and PH was double the crazy of PH eve. from 9.25am, there are already pple waiting outside to come in and buy food. feel like telling them that we actually open at 10am and please that banquet next to kfc, you can always choose dat to kfc rite? so, when we open stall not more than 15 mins, customers had already Q till the door. and this crowd didn't stop at all. all the way till 9plus pm then stop. and you know what, all the customer mostly are maids or worker form Philippines. expected, the same familiar crowd. i was super tired, stand 30 hours for 2 days. my feet hurt so badly, especially the heels. I'm getting old. I'm quiting my job soon. i really donnoe how to tell my manager. i really want to find a less work load and responsible job and reasonable pay. as my main focus is not on work. i donnoe how to tell Danny. cos i know they are still lack of staff. that why many staff have to do full shift almost everyday. 我开不了口。 how ?

6days of impact programme ended with a chalet at aloha Loyang. thru this programme i really make alot of new friends, christian friends that are from ITE. and also learn that i really still got alot alot of things that i do not know of God. unless i walk closely with Him and He will reveal to me more of Him. and here is overall of what we did during this 6 days programme.

we did night cycling. just in pasi ris park. that night was really a beautiful night, cos it looks like it going to rain. so the sky was pinkish. and the view of the sea was soothing too. although it seems like its going to rain. we actually saw the Orion. very very nice. cycling was not really something that I'm good at. from my experience, each time i cycle, i confirm will fall down 1 time. LOL. but thank God. nv fall down this time. to me, cycling is like street e. the more you practise, the more you get a hand of it. but i really hardly cycle. to me, cycling is like a christian life. you must focus on which direction you want to go. and control the bike. nobody cycle with their eyes close. and the scenery when you are cycling maybe so beautiful. and when you stop cycling, you will feel very hot. similarly, one christian life must always fixed their eyes on God and know direction where He wants you to go in order to keep on moving. there are alot of attractive things in this world that will tempt us and distract us from focusing on our goals and God. if we don resist, we may soon fall astray and cant see our goals, cant see where God is in our life. when we actually decided to stop this journey, journey of continue following our goals, God is no longer our focus, the centre and priority of life. that where one life begin to collapse. .... OK that what i think.

believing in Christ is one thing, following Him is another thing. you can choose to believe in Him but yet not follow Him.

random pic

2008-09-30T03:12:00.009+08:00

sunset. isn't it beautiful? God's creation.

our NUS crystal growing challenge the booth. super simple compare to others. if i was inform earlier that we have to decorate our booth very nice and that there will be award given to it, i will surely put in alot of effort. too bad.

this is the Crystal that won second place. big and clear. that why win.

this is our crystal that we send for the competition. not my grow de. i name it Jerry baby. LOL. unfortunately, the crystal is not in the correct shape. so both group send never win anything. but we have fun.

final good bye to our 5crystal babies: Joyce, angel, belle, crystal and Sarah. all have grown up!

finally done. our poster for the crystal growing challenge. hard work hard work. although our poster is not very special, but it is our xin xue.

group photo taken at youth anniversary.

.... this how it's feel, reaching for heaven. this what it's mean, touching forever... reaching for heaven .....

me and grace <3 sisters forever!!!

my doggy. feifei!!!! love her so much!

part2.

cj7! Eeyore gave me this for no reason. so touch!

Michelle. so hard working. doing the crystal growing log book. and me, playing with my camera and cj7. LOL. xin gu le! i almost crack my head counting all the calculation.

if only C1 is always so empty. then i can enjoy my lunch with silence. look at the arrangement of the chairs. wow!

cj7! again.

rainbow. saw this beautiful rainbow when it is raining and sunny at the same time. rainbow remind me of God's covenant and promise.

group photo, taken at pasir ris park on our church family day.

group photo. part 2. guess who is missing.

me and peici. standing in front of the fish4men notice board. after spending the whole afternoon doing the notice board. but still incomplete till now. LOL. the cutting of the fishes and flags really took up alot of time.

rainbow part2

I'm missing all the fun. and missing being under the hot sun. look at peici. she still holding on to her half eaten apple at her left hand.

I'm going crazy soon. is so late now and I'm still doing math. I'm going crazy due to the number of careless mistake i made. i was shock. even it is simple calculation of 144 times 1000, i can write as 1440. and alot more. like 9 divide by 3, i actually wrote 2. am i crazy? or there is serious disconnection of wire in my brain. maybe that is really the reason. that why i have been saying so many wrong words recently. like "i just cant remember" to "i just cant forget." and the worst: " i just went to ms XX de blog." to "i just went to ms blog de XX." maybe my mind just cant seems to focus. and the wire in my brain got all connected wrongly. what can i do? so that i can be so focus in doing things as simple as talking? what is happening to me??? some say is stress, some say is lack of sleep. but i say, " i think something is wrong somewhere." and what do you say?

没时间了！

2008-09-29T21:00:00.011+08:00

失望。对，上个星期我只能用这两个字来总结。因为我和害怕的战争打输了。它又战胜了。但是，我不会放弃。我一定会在下一个与它的战争打败它。

not enough time. cos o level are near. left 3 weeks only. i really donnoe how am i going to finish study for both my math and English. math is enough to drive me crazy. it is a mission impossible. and i must trust God with this. to help me finish things that can be only finish in 3 hours to finish in half an hour. to make impossible to Himpossible. but one thing, i still have to work. and i really don feel like working, as it take up too much of time. i need that time to study. but for the sake of my 4months tuition fees. i must 加油！ but at the same time, i still want to trust God that He will provide.

read this from somewhere. which i really agree.

"you cant buy time, you cant sell time and you cant make time.

you cant credit it for tomorrow or give it to someone. you cant save it in a bank, nor can you withdraw it when you needed it most.

you cant just borrow time and lend them to someone who needed it.

when midnight strikes, it is another new day. another 24 hours for you.

you can use it wisely or simply have it wasted.

time is given to you free! but we will never know when our time will end."

no matter how much time i really need, i got 24 hours. 所以，就这样吧。

my sore throat haven recover. instead it got worst. block and running nose coming back. medicine makes me feel so drowsiness. i hate that feeling. distract me from focusing. oh man! if i don get better, i think i will fall sick again! no way, this time i wont let him win.

I'm working 15hours tml and Wednesday. CRAZY!

the hole in our hearts

2008-09-21T02:17:00.001+08:00

"what else does this craving, and this helplessness, proclaim but that there was once a true happiness, of which all that now remains is the empty print and trace? this he tries in vain to fill with everything around him, seeking in things that are not there the help he cannot find in those that are, though none can help, since this infinite abyss can be filled with only an infinite and immutable object; in other words by God himself."

Blasie Pascal (1623-1662)

does this describe the emptiness in you?

is ending soon le

2008-09-21T01:58:00.006+08:00

fish4men second street witnessing.
God is really good to me. He really knows my heart. cos i really never do street witnessing alot alot of times before. and i am not very fluent. but God was really really good to me. the people i shared to today are all soft spoken de. so i was able to practise and shared the complete message to them. honestly i never use 4SL to share gospel before. so was really a good chance to put into practise. and both of them that i shared to even prayed the sinner's prayer with me. 2 salvation. thank You! these really increases my faith and gives me more confident. through what You did today really gives me more boldness and increasing the joy of serving you. God, You are really so good to me. and this makes me feel like serving you more. AND.. You had already provided me opportunity to serve You even outside church. now is really a matter of do i have the time to commit to it.

today work was so crazy. as usual, crazy. the crowd did not stop from 6pm till we close shop 11 pm. even till abdt 11.20pm den finally no customer. oh man! if you are there, u will really see me crazy in the kitchen for that 5 hours. by the time i reach home just now is like 12.30 le. but never mind, next week I'm not working!!! so happy! hopefully i will be more free next week. just that Mon, got impact programme and guitar class, Tue, going school do poster, wed, impact programme and English tuition, Thurs to Sun is our Crystal growing challenge! can come and support me and Michelle. sat and sun is open to public and sun is also the result day. oh man. finally it is coming to the end. I'm looking forward, I'm looking forward!!! to the end, of course. no more staying in school till so late just for crystal babies. hahax.

ytd was cell gathering at grace's house. got 3 new comer to our cell gathering that day. no, i should said is 4 new comer. great bonding session! oh man, i talk to soft toys. hahax. how great this will be if we will always have this kind of session once in awhile.

this week is really my half dead week. cos I'm sick. till yesterday den i can consider fully recover. but my cough is still very bad. but this wont stop me from eating spicy food you know. LOL. Tue was really the super sick day. i felt like i had just encounter an angel at work when the plate that i actually plan to wash was actually washed cleaned. cos i saw it was very dirty and i plan to cover it with paper but i have to wash first. but the plate is not small. and i really restless that day. so when i really decide to go and wash, it is clean. hallelujah! is like now you are there and now you don't. of course, is the uncle that washed for me. at first i was still doubting is it really him that wash. cos he don seem very free. but cannot be others le. nobody so free help me wash. hahax. that really lifted me up abit. thank God for this uncle.

this week guitar lesson was really disappointing for teacher. it can be seem so clearly by the tone he used to read the notes as we strum the guitar. sorry la cher. we really forget everything. and i really will go and practise and not let you disappointed again. hahax. provided if i can find the time. but looks like only got Sunday left to practise. cos next week guitar class shift to Mon.

there is this pamphlet that Mervin passed to me. is abdt miracle serivce. a healing service. oh man! i really want to go. so i can be completely healed from the inside out, physical and spiritually. and so many pple was healed through this service. is really so amazing! even bad temper can be healed. so amazing! read their testimonies :
http://www.lighthouse.org.sg/TEST/Home.html

my heart is calling out Your name.....

fighting against....

2008-09-17T22:33:00.003+08:00

I'm sick!
and
I'm crazy!
why?
I'm work 15 hours ytd with my 38.2 degree temperature.

no choice.
no replacement staff.

i felt very heavy when i first wake up. the exact feeling i got on Sunday. but worst than Sunday. when to take a cold shower hoping that it will at least make me feel better by melting down the heat in me. i really cant believe that I'm down with fever. i cant even remember when is the last time i am down with that. few years ago? i cant believe that I'm sick. cos i really not so easy get sick. i took my temperature and it says 37.9. cant believe. took again after 5 minutes. got higher and higher. ate one mouth of instant noodle and went to work with that super heavy head.

cant focus, cannot tahan. told Danny that i want to go see doctor and he tot I'm joking. do i looks like I'm ok? he must had been very insensitive to his staff. told him that I'm having fever he then agree. but he seems unwilling to give me the slip to see the doctor. come on.. kfc so rich, medical fees of that few bucks should be fine right? i nv say i going take MC. i just want to eat medicine. thank God, i got my medicine. Danny was like cant believe that the doctor didn't told me my temperature. actually i was not listening to what the doctor was saying. i just feel like sleeping.

nurse said only cough syrup will make me feel drowsiness. so i told all the tablet medicine. immediately i feel drowny. told my supervisor. she said are sure what the nurse said can be trust? took out my medicine and check. .... that is one that will cause drowsiness. the medicine is really taking its effect. i am sweating like tap water at the same time feel very sleepy. at abdt 4 plus pm, the drowsiness is really to the max. i can fell asleep by just standing there for awhile without doing things. n it feels like that a suction sucking me and then release. and suck again and release. it's terrible feeling, but some how till the point i enjoyed it. i think Danny saw me like going to fall asleep look. and called me to go in office and rest. thank God. that 5-10 mins nap was really helpful in giving me awkeness for the remanding hours.

i was thinking, this time round, i had overcome my sickness and still work under pressure. next time im sick, will it really be very serious? LOL.

and today, not yet recover from my fever. got a bit fed up when trying to secure the crystal in the container. cos it is really super hard. and my head start to spin. .... tells me that is time for medicine. but i nv bring.

tomorrow, another pack day. jia you! looking forward to days that spend with You. looking forward to see You.

His faithfulness

2008-09-15T23:05:00.008+08:00

I'm sorry to neglect my blog for like so long. but I'm really not free. even thought holidays may be here. but it is not holiday for me. yes, you know the reason. my holidays are piled up with work and study for o level and crystal growing stuff. i really must press on till the end of o level!!

crystal growing internal school competition result is out. the night before the competition, i still do not really know whether should i continue to hold on to this hope. i really donnoe, cos i know our crystal sure wont win. but i don not want to give up hope in entering NUS challenge. so i was quite stuck in between. but the result had just shown God's faithfulness. God sees my heart. He knows that i really hope to enter NUS challenge. He also knows that our crystal cant make it. but yet, he still provide a chance for us to go NUS challenge. thank you Lord! the result of the competition was that our crystal never win, but we will be taking over another group crystal to go for the NUS challenge. who will ever thought that this will happened? it is God controlling it. although at first felt abit very mixed feeling, cos do not really know to be happy or sad. but now, i want to be thankful of what He had given me. this is part of His plan, i believe i will definitely find a purpose and reason for entering this challenge. jia you!! Michelle , lets jia you!

exam are finally over. i donnoe whether i can make it or not, but i don want to give up hope. mugged for this exam with may at mac for 4 nights. it is indeed super exhausting, didn't go home to sleep for 4 days. i really miss my bed. but thank God, i didn't fall sick.

youth anniversary was finally here. although till the last minute, I'm still doubting whether to go or not. eventually still went. it was still dizzy in the morning. but God really blessed us with very good weather. the games was great. thanks for all the effort for making this event so successful. oh man! playing captain ball with cabbage and tomato is really something that i nv tried before. thank God! able to make new friends during this event. thanks all for coming. the sun was really too strong till the point it let me feel very sick. i got serious headache and sore throat the next day. but.. I'm really power! LOL. still go to church, eat dim sum with cell and go work after that. maybe 以毒攻毒 really works for me.

crystal growing challenge is from 25 to 28 Sept. 4 days. some more is whole day. seriously, I'm really scare. 26 is the judging day. and heard ms lee said that is going to be like interview, we are to do a presentation. I'm scare that i will not be able to answer the question that they asked us. but God had not give us a spirit of fear. You said perfect Love cast out all fear. please come and cast out my fear Lord!

this week is going to be so pack too. busy with work, cos one auntie, kitchen staff is on leave. i have to take over her. and tml work is going to be 15hours to the max and the next day I'm working morning 8am. sianx. 加油！ this is not the first time. i will get through! I really need alot of encouragement. 加油加油加油！！！！！ going to be busy with doing crystal growing stuff. and i have to complete 3 papers for math and English in my TYS. i cant even find one free day just to rest. this is crazy. if only i don have to work, i think i will have more time to study.

ps: sorry this post is abit short, comparing to the rest.

footprints in the sand

2008-08-30T20:03:00.004+08:00

One night a man had a dream.
He dreamed he was walking along the beach with the LORD.
Across the sky flashed scenes from his life.
For each scene he noticed two sets of footprints in the sand:
one belonging to him, and the other to the LORD.
When the last scene of his life flashed before him,
he looked back at the footprints in the sand.

He noticed that many times along the path of his life there was only one set of footprints.
He also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times in his life.
This really bothered him and he questioned the LORD about it:
"LORD, you said that once I decided to follow you, you'd walk with me all the way.
But I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life,
there is only one set of footprints.
I don't understand why when I needed you most you would leave me."

The LORD replied: "My son, my precious child, I love you and I would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you."

big and small

2008-08-30T12:48:00.002+08:00

most of my week is busy. not excluding this week. i wonder when will i start my blog post with " this week, I'm super duber free."

this week is really a week of faith. cos there are 2 test n o level oral packed within this 7 days. and on top of that, notice board must be up at least with some things by sat. so, one hand i must study for my test, another have to do things for the notice board. n time was really insufficient. really thank God, cos i only work one day this week. or not i will really be walking zombie(that what weijjie said).

o level oral this Monday was really by faith. cos I'm not discipline enough to practise my picture discussion and conversation at home. i need someone to be accountable for to do that. eventually got nandy to hear me say just before we head to school. yes, that practise had just proved that I'm not good in picture discussion. my vocab bank was really zero. but thank God, still manage to make this practise(at least better than never practise). nervousness was to the max when i saw my name first in the name list. one coincident thing is, the teacher in charge is the same teacher as last year o level exam. it was really by faith. the confidence that i have is by Him. yes, it is by Him that passage was easy, picture and conversation was easy too. i can never thank Him enough!

due to lack of time and sleep. didn't manage to study for the two test. and it is really really last minute work. believe it or not, i haven even finish studying 1 chapter one day before the test. and Friday was not far away. finally coming into conclusion not to study but just learn how to draw the organic structure. hopefully, this will get me somewhere near pass.

i can only use one word to describe phase test. "crazy" 45 mins seriously was too short. things was really in a mess.

i saw 1 small piece of red paper pasting on the walls of the corridor next to each house. before i reach my door step, saw 1 piece of that red paper on top of the gate of my neighbor house. and normally this kind of paper pasting on walls only have one meaning. which someone is actually holding a Chinese religion funeral service. with no doubts, i know someone had gone. my mum said is the ah ma next door.

sad? abit. is not that we are very close neighbor. i seldom see her out of the house and there is language barrier. is that i know where she will be heading to after her this life on earth. that what upsetting me. and what left behind was 1 unwed son. is he very sad? the door was always closed since her mum left. i think to him is really very traumatise. first was his brother, now was his mum. maybe to him now, death is very very real. but what about hell? is hell very very real to him?

will the fire of hell be so real to us till we really experience it? who do not know that hell is full of fire? but who will know the pain of being burned by hell fire for eternity, non -stop of torture? one of the devil's greatest lie is "you still have time." how do you know? nobody knows the exact time?

finally, fish4men first street witnessing since it officially launched. waited for like 11 weeks. and time of fishing is here! i partnered with another "jing yu" and headed for fishing. God was good. cos is flag day again. every time when i do street witnessing there will be flag day student sell ling flags. from this street e, i had learn how to share in Chinese! I'm not a Chinese pro. so there are words that i do not know how to say in Chinese. and i really never share gospel in Chinese before. it is really not very clear compare to using English. her answer to my 关键 question " were you choose to believe in Him?" was silence. i donnoe. this don seems to be her first time hearing the gospel. she refuse to say anything too when we ask her why or what's stopping her? but seriously she shows no interest. never mind. she is not rejecting me. she had rejected God. one person needs to hear the gospel for 7.6 times before they will make a decision to follow Christ. but what makes me thinking was, she believe that Jesus is God( that what she said for the survey that we did with her). since she believe that Jesus is God, why wont she accept Him?

everybody likes to do what they like or want to do. who will want to be under some rules and guild lines. " I'm not free, i don want to commit my every Sunday to church." or" i got more important things to do. cannot make it." when you really know who God is and the love he had for you, you may even give up everything for him.

God actually knows all the name of the stars in the sky. stars. what stars do is to shine, shine and shine. how about us? we do more than shining. wont God knows everybody names in the world? He created the galaxy. how can eight planets spin around a sun at the same time? wont they collide to each other? someone must be there, which know and make the exact measurement of how much space it needs.

God ..... You are really so BIG.... and we.... so small... cant compare to you at all

I said to Him, Lord, I place my trust in You. And He said to me, Take my hand, and you will never fear the darkness.

more than simpler

2008-08-24T18:04:00.001+08:00

this 2 weeks, is as usual. very busy. maybe more busy then usual. in this 2 weeks, got 2 test. how was it? not very good. somehow feel like had just been knocked down by cars. yes, that's how broken i am towards that 2 test. who to blame? myself? i cant explain why that happened. but only He knows why. or maybe He had already revealed to me the answer to this question. maybe that answer that i had now in mind is really that reason and I'm conscious of it. but what kind changes should i make? but on top of all this is the discipline that i need to have to continue with what i had started to do. but i know for sure that He will help me finish what He had started.

was feeling very dread to go to work again. cos exams are so near and i really want to spend time studying. but still have to work. so was very dread. the first thing my manager told me when i just reach work yesterday was " tomorrow is my last day here." " why so sudden?" " no, is not. i tot i told you before?" " oh, i tot is not successful?" "...." i know what she means. she never did try to give up on that plan even it is not successful at first. and finally, it got approved. should i be happy for her? as she finally gets what she wants? and successfully escaped from this workplace and into another new environment. she always said that this store is really very messy and stressful. that the reason why she wanted to transfer out to another store. i am surely going to miss her. miss the way she always called me crazy. miss the way she always said nasty things but doesn't really mean what she said. miss the way she will come to me and tell me what she recently encounter..... i will definitely miss her presence.

one manager goes off another come in. heard that the new manager is a formal rider that last time work in our store. i really hope we can get along well. yes, i believe it can be done.

it was Danny's shift yesterday.
Danny: "I'm still chasing your 2 star position for you."
me: "oh, i see."
Danny: "you know what is happening?"
me: "what?"
Danny: "you took your 2 star test before you got your 1 star."
sounds like the HQ doesn't approve it.
Danny: " I'm chasing it for you. anyway is 2006 matter. and after you got your 2 star already then i will adjust your pay."
me: "oh ok."

feel like telling him not to put hope on me. cos I'm leaving this work soon. am i going to get a pay rise soon? does that mean More responsibility? i hope not. i got enough of it.

that was my first prayer walk. never do it before. caijie was drawing the rough sketch of the map of aljiunied on the white board. some started laughing and some wonder what are the short form stand for. and one of the short form was "PC" so i told peici." PC stands for peici." after caijie finished his master piece, he explained his map. there are 2 way we can go. most of them cannot understand the route 2. peici and i was put in route 1 plus the rest, total 6 of us.
caijie: "xiao ming, which route do you want?"
xiao ming: "anything."
caijie: "anything means no road." laugh " so which route do you want?"
xiao ming: "anything."
caijie: "ok, then you join route 1"

fish 4 men first prayer walk since it is officially launched. i really thank God for this prayer walk. if not for this walk, i may not realise how our community was so lost. we went pass Chinese temple, Hindu temple, Taoism society, Chinese museums. one of the chinese museum is really scary. we stopped and pray as we walk pass. i really see alot of things through this prayer walk. Thank God.

guitar lesson is getting more fun. i think. cos now is the period of getting familiar with the chords fingering. looking forward to get familiar.

i sat down, suddenly notice that the person sitting in front of me looks so familiar. is it him? i wonder. are you sure is him? they look so alike. although is back view. his hair. and his shirt. immediately fear gripped my heart. i know at once which bus stop he will get down. i prayed that he wont see me when he get up to get down the bus... finally, the bus stop. my head was bow low. pretending to type message. he got down the bus and the bus leave the stop. i look up and saw the empty seat. i looked out of the window to see whether is it really him. it is. is him. is really him. thank God, his gone. i really don want to see him again. although i know is impossible as we lived so near to each other. is not that i have not forgive him, is that i feel so disgusted by his look, i can never directly face him anymore, that person is full of lies.

God..... please teach me and show me how to continue to love certain people in my life. give me the compassion that you have.

forever God is faithful. forever God is strong. forever God is with us. forever and ever, forever.

tomorrow is my o level oral. fear is now in my heart. take them away!!! i want to live a life of faith not a life of fear. i want to expect more. as God is bigger than my problems and worries. God is big enough to give all that i need!

真实

2008-08-12T00:42:00.004+08:00

went to watch movie with Michelle, hui yun, Chris, weijie and ying jun. suppose to watch the dark knight. but weijie got the wrong timing end up watching journey to the centre of the earth. but is a great movie too.

一大早就 emo . maybe is ytd emo bring to today. seriously don want to stay at home. very disturbed by so many things at home. can you just stop asking me the same question? i know you care for me. but you really do not know me. feel like this home is just like a place for me to sleep only. can you stop acting like a kid. i know this the way you show your love, but I'm really uncomfortable with it and that is not the love that i want. i know you don have childhood, but it is really time to grow up. can you stop throwing things when things doesn't go your way. showing your anger cant get what you want. can you stop saying hurtful words to me calling me to leave this house if I'm not happy. can you stop saying you want to leave this house. how much do we really mean to you when you can easily say that you want to leave this house. is it possible to remove all the idols at home. so disturbing.
God, please teach me how to appreciate and have a thankful heart with what i have now and not complaints abdt it. show me your way.

sat down in the mrt seat. although there are pple around in the mrt, sitting next to me. in front of me. but im alone. suddenly feel that I'm the only one in the train. how great. feels great to be away. got the urge of sitting in the train forever and hoping that the train wont stop. but was back to reality when i have to get down the train.

10.30am. that early. i tot I'm the earliest. I'm not, Michelle was. waited for the rest to arrived before setting off to TM. feel so guilty, due to some reason, Joseph cant join us for the movie. is my fault, isn't it?

went home straight after movie to go work. felt dread to go work again. reali envy that the rest of them have so much free time. pool, bowl and arcade is the one that took up most of their time. i also want so many free time. then i can spend the whole day being away.

i also want to escape from reality. but 有些线实太真实了。不得不面对。

Life is full of unexpectants.

CNY is coming...

Your Love never fails

new year 2011

im a happy gal :)

crazy korean gals singing karaoke

deadddd...

我不是好人

a right resopnse to hurt

好幸福

updates

yozzzz!

vicious cycle

though im not worthy

relax and trust GOD

New Year 2010!

distress

Merry CHRISTmas!!!

finally updating!

Doggy's love

life is.....

i started a joke

Memories

back from KUANTAN!

HOLIDAYS!!!

Fruits of the labour

BACK

it is a long long journey.

风筝

Excited!

Back to school

新成员

开花了

oranges

Hurts

YES!

公平

是个骗局

结束了

so cute!

Psalm 119:91-93

stain

cant stop

last day of holiday

The Light

so you would come

宝贵十架

too difficult?

one life, one love

要做还是不做

strategies in tough times

holiday is here!

prime time with God

what will happen?

You alone

最美的祝福

Laminin Laminin Laminin

情 人 节

绿 茶

accountable

this is what i will do

出来了

5 hong bao from God

turn your eyes upon Jesus

crossing over

new year resolution

两 天

CCIS 20dec2008

we are the reason

时 间

holiday holiday!!!

Your name

work

everything is in His control

害 怕

first day of the last month

we need Your help!

风 筝

happy birthday nandy!

rescue

情人节

绿茶

两天

时间

害怕

风筝

没时间了！

真实